rewinded love

Here I am

2011-04-17T02:44:00.002+08:00

Hey readers. Which I believe is now all gone.. As requested by Shafiqa, I'm gonna be updating about my life since July 2010. As bored as it sounds, nothing much really happened. Just the uncountable times of dates, stupid fights/misunderstandings/stress over social and school responsibilities. Other than that.. I'm totally fine. However, the situation in my family is not as before. Easy said, life is not as before. But let's put that aside and keep it a secret. 2010 went well for me. I passed my GCE N Levels and here I am now.. in Sec 5. And should I mention what I got for malay dance SYF this year? I think it's pretty much obvious. Hah, joke. Purbanira Seni got Gold. And hopefully for the following SYFs we're gonna maintain that gold or maybe get something even better *winks! The start of 2011 was truly memorable. The bond my babygirls and I had.. The moment where nobody could tear us apart. But since cheerleading, something went wrong somewhere. My ego, their misunderstanding? I don't know. So came this guy who I eventually got close to. And it seems like we're really close to a certain extent whereby we have no limits. And misunderstandings occured when I unconsciously spent most of my time with him. See, coincidentally, we live nearby. So we tend to go to school together. And go back home together too. And there was when all the misperceptions occured. After that.. things happened and the situation got slightly better. Everything was back in place. And then, he started to get pissed over something which I believe is a piece of paper where secrets and confessions were shared amongst the babygirls and I. Not only have I faced loss of my two precious girlfriends but a fellow friend of my had to face the consequences too. It was quite unreasonable. I, myself, was mad and confused at N and R for giving him the cold shoulders. Since that day, things were never the same. Some people may be cheering with joy to know the fact that Marissa & Atiqa are the only two bestfriends and I'm not one of them. I tried my best to put down my ego and loosen my time spent with N but things never changed. It was too late to make things work. Marissa now seemed to be more comfortable spilling secrets to the two Atiqas and I can do nothing bout it. Her life, her decisions, her choice. And furthermore, I'm tired of fighting and arguing over such things and its pretty childish when I come to think of it. Life goes on and I can't afford to cry over spilled milk. Although now, I may not know who my best friends are, I would like them to know that they were the best girls that ever entered my life and I cherished every second we spent together. So that's about it. My life with my friends. As for my love life. Like I said, uncountable dates. Things have been going fine until one day two guys from the past returned. It was good to know that I could make these guys laugh when they're down. Relieve them from all their problems. And surprisingly, they couldn't stay mad at me. Even when I was wrong. I feel special indeed. However, I wasn't ready to make a choice. Especially with O Levels coming around. So I make it a point to concentrate on my GCE O Levels first. Luck was unfortunately not on my side. After much pondering, I realised whatever happens.. I'm still gonna be the heartbreaker. 2 out of 3 of them will be heartbroken. And I'm so close to all of them, I couldn't possibly leave them just like that. Except that I kindda already ignored one of them so.. inofficially, I'm left with 2. Knowing that I am soooo close to N and knowing that F had waited 3 years without being into a relationship with other girls for me.. I feel so caught in between and I don't know what to do you see. The best part is, my heart is not saying anything and it's just not right. So for now, everything seemed really depressing for me and I just want things to get better. That's all I ever want for now.

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

2010-07-17T01:20:00.000+08:00

Your view on yourself:

You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

i promise.

2010-07-07T19:03:00.002+08:00

If you still ignore me especially on my birthday,

I SWEAR I'LL HATE YOU FOR LIFE.

I feel like our world's been infected.

2010-06-25T02:39:00.002+08:00

Okay so, I don't know what's up with me.

Last practice where it was held at somewhere full of hot guys, I was really attracted to one of them. So yeah, did the usual gossips with the girls and yes they agreed. Haha, I mean, I wasn't flirting or anything. I wasn't even making eye contact with him. It was just a normal crush. My eyecandy. But what happened next was totally unexpected.

Okay. We got there and it was raining heavily so we couldn't practice. And we sat there for so long until we decided to braid each other's hair. It was still raining. And I was shivering, trust me. Then suddenly, they said it's time for us to go home, so as we were walking out of the place, one of them stopped me. And that one of them happens to be my eyecandy! Cool shit right. Okay then, he asked me if we were heading home already and I said yeah. So he said, "If you're going home now then, can I have your number?" And I stared at him and he stared at me and I said, "erm.." and I walked away. It's as good as saying, "I'll pass."

Oh my god. So stupid of me right. But I guess I have my reasons. I mean, I've to look clean in front of some people or they'll start bitching about me right. It's not like I give a shit, but now it's not the right time to not give a shit. So in other words, yes, I do give a shit a little. Hah.

Okay, that's all that I wanna share with you. It's just so awesome. The feeling when you like that someone and they like you back. I feel lucky. And it feels damn good. But when I recall back on how I answered him, it was PURE BITCHY. And thanks to the two girls who made it obvious when we were going down the stairs and you girls were like, "Omg, Illa it's him! Omg. Go give your number!" And yeah, we made eye contact at last before we left. And some even waved us goodbye. But I pretended I see nothing (: see, I didn't flirt. Haha.

I'm done here. And by the way, to those who have my facebook, my status is changed to "in a relationship". It's just a joke, you guys. I never wanna be in a relationship ever again until after my N Levels. (:

Quick Update ♥

2010-06-23T11:47:00.004+08:00

As you can see, I'm in a hurry. Kay fake. I have to finish my chores before I can go out. And despite that, I still can take the time to update my blog. Which is so dusty. I know. Waste time kan? Nevermind. My dear friends, school's resuming real soon. Boohoo! Actually, my update today is gonna be about this Princess. She's turned 14 today and she's as sweet as a lollipop! :D

Hey, Alysa. Smile always okay. And don't frown. Cause you never know who might fall for that smile of yours (: Hope you'll succeed in life and hope your wishes and dreams come true. Sayang you bebeh! ♥♥

BIRTHDAY GIRL.

(hope you're having fun on the cruise! and sorry if my gift is pathetic. hehe.)

It was almost perfect ):

2010-06-21T02:11:00.002+08:00

I just want my life back! All.

When I had love and freedom and attention all at once.

You still are. And I still am.

2010-06-19T22:38:00.002+08:00

"Yes, of course. He's the one who lifts me up when I'm down, give me a listening ear when I have no one to turn to, advice me when I needed some, ~~pampers me with his drawings~~, ~~entertain me when I can't sleep~~, "wipe" my tears when I cry. That's what I love about him. He's someone I can trust. SOMEONE WHO CHANGED MY WHOLE LIFE. I swear."

"I miss you fetching me from home. I miss you holding my hand. I miss you giving me morning kisses every day. I miss going to school with you. I miss you pampering me. I miss you being concerned about me. I miss you trying to cheer me up no matter how sad I am. I miss you making me laugh. I miss your nonsense. I miss your eyes. I miss your smile. I miss your laugh. I miss being jealous. I miss your hugs and kisses. Most of all, I MISS YOU ____________"

Let's just hope he'd read this.

2010-06-19T20:59:00.005+08:00

I own the best friends. I have the bitchiest enemies. I am blessed to have my family. But it is never complete, cause no one else in this planet Earth can have a place so big and spacious in my heart but you.

I know you know I'm referring to you.

Yes, that's true.

2010-06-14T01:00:00.001+08:00

I want to go watch moviessss! I'm mad bored down here. SOS!

I am very exhausted

2010-06-11T13:30:00.001+08:00

'I love you
You love me
We're best friends like friends should be
With a great big hug
And a kiss from me to you
Won't you say you love me too.'

- Barney and Friends

Am I really that bad?

2010-06-10T01:52:00.004+08:00

August, come fast! I can't wait. Hee.

Honestly, I'm feeling kind of down right now. Yesterday, was confession night, like I said. And today, they said nasty things to me. Okay not they. He. Like seriously, whenever did I give you hope? I'm not blaming anyone right now. But, have some heart man. I tried my best to not break your heart and at the same time not cheat on you, and I got this in return. Wow.

Whatever, I don't care. But I feel bad, though. He made me feel like a heartbreaker. Or am I? Sheesh. Still, there's always someone there to cheer me up. Though he didn't know if I was feeling okay or notThank you, Hazir Zakaria. Hahahaha! Chill dude, I'm not gonna help her. So don't hate me. Haha. And seriously, don't mooooove! D: Later I no friend. Then later I'll always be depressed at night. Lol, okay that's not true. I am gonna be okay. Just that it'll be better if you're there. Cause you're full of craaaaaps. Haha!

Okay besides that, I'm gonna stay up all night cause I'm afraid I can't wake up on time later. Habes aku kene sound dengan dher lagi. Count yourself lucky Hazir, no guy ever heard me doing that. And I'm sooo not gonna do that anymore. EMBARRASSING! Haha, okay.

That's all folks (:

Grow old with me.

2010-06-09T02:04:00.002+08:00

So today, was totally full of surprises. No, it only happened when I wasn't bored. Ass right? Kay whatever. I'm drinking tea out of boredom. And maybe shock? Haha. Okay. So the surprise was someone confessed to me. No, make it two! Yes, two! Now I'm wondering, how the hell do they know I want a boyfriend? But naaaaah, I was just kidding bout that. Now's not a good time to have a boyfriend, frankly speaking. My friends and family are already enough :D

Currently having an awesome time chatting with sister. And chatting with confessor #1. HAHA. Does that word even exist? Okay, whatever. I want to have babies! :DDDDD

Yay yay! I've got fans. I've got fans! Omg, ew. I wonder how bitches feel proud to have many guy's eye's on them :/ so disgusting. I feel like a slut, if I were them. STOCK BUAT PAKAI KATEKANNN! HAHAH.

I'll post my conversation with sissy here soon. I think I wanna go chat LIVE with sister in the room. Hehe <3

ass.

2010-06-07T23:37:00.001+08:00

I AM JUST SICK AND TIRED OF YOU BOTHERING ME EVERY TIME.

When can you ever leave me alone and give me some space at least?

I think a boyfriend would help me get you walking out of my life.

But I don't want one.

I'll be there for you! (:

2010-06-03T20:34:00.004+08:00

Life's been treating me kind lately. And I very much appreciate that. Especially knowing that I have my best buds and family by my side. Really, I enjoy every second of my life. Anyways, I'm truly sorry I didn't update much. For all I know, nobody reads it anymore. The. Dust. It's. Making. Me. Cough! *coughs*

Torture will end this coming Monday. Thank goodness! Have been attending intensive programs to prepare us for the coming preliminary examinations in Mid August? Yeah, study babe. Study.

Well, as you can see very clearly, I have nothing much to say. Yesterday, Marissa, Efan, Shafiqa and I slacked at Shafiqa's crib and watched F.R.I.E.N.D.S together. Good laugh babes/dude. And today, spent about a few hours at MacDonald's talking about supernatural stuffs. Until we realised today is the Thursday. And everybody knows what's the meaning behind it. But yeah. We were too engrossed in that topic that we finally decided to rent a Horror DVD and catch it at Shafiqa's.

I would rate Niyang Rapik 5/10. The ghosts were good and so is the sound effects. But it lacks suspense people! Suspenese is the most important factor in a horror movie. And besides, the climax wasn't really cool but they had a great twist in the end. Okay, I'm talking composition here using Social Studies' balanced conclusion. And.. today, I bought a really beautiful dress. To die for! Oh gosh. It's so pretty. So did Noura. Yeah.

Really, this feeling is so... indescribable. Now I just feel like growing up fast and at the same time, not to leave secondary school cause it's the best moment of your life. Even though how much you hate that person, eventually you'll realise, they were the ones who turn you to who you are now. Love them! :D And at the end of your secondary school life, walk up to them, shake hands or if you don't prioritize your ego, HUG THEM! They are the people who subconsciously stood up for you. Thank you so much God for rewarding me with this beautiful souls. My baby girls, drunken fruits and FAMILY! They are the best of the best. And girls, I promise you, we will stick together. Like glue. Like cement. We will be by each other. Through thick and thin. Up and down. Left and right. Front and back. Hehe. Yes, we will. And we will travel the world. And conquer every place we can :D

Love.

2010-05-25T10:17:00.001+08:00

Now Hollywood wants to make you think they know what love is. But I'm a tell you what true love is. Love is not what you see in the movies. Its not the ecstasy, its not what you see in that scene, you know what I mean? I'm telling you right now, true love is sacrifice. Love is thinking about others before you think about yourself, love is selfless not selfish. Love is God and God is love. Love is when you lay down your life for another, whether for your brother, your mother, your father or your sister, its even laying down your life for your enemies, that's unthinkable, but think about that. Love is true. Think.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, it always perseveres. Love never fails. Love is everlasting, its eternal, it goes on and on, it goes beyond time, love is the only thing that will last when you die, but ask the question why? Do you have love?

There is no greater love than this than he who lays down his life for his friends. Now are you willing to lay down your life for your friends? You're probably willing to lay down your life for your mother, your father, or your best friends, but are you willing to lay down your life for even those that hate you? I'm going to tell you who did that, the definition of love is Jesus Christ. He is love. The nails in his hands, the thorns in his brow, hanging on a cross for your sin my sins, that is LOVE he died for you and me while we still hated him, that is love. God is true love, and if you don't know this love, now is the time to know, perfect love.

This especially goes to Phinois.

2010-05-25T09:46:00.006+08:00

Happy ever after never exist. Even after you are married to the ones you (think) are fated with. Even after having scores of daughters and sons. Life is crap. It's bitchy. But that's not the reason for us to give up life. Once in a blue moon, surely you'll receive a brighter gift. And yeah, I'm taking my N's this year. I'm not gonna let this affect my studies.

I don't understand why 18 year olds go for old man. Is it for their money? Or their looks (ew)? Especially when she knows that the guy is not clean. As in, he had sex before for God's sake and he's a father of three! Have a sense of sympathy will ya? Will you freaking like it if your dad's having an affair? You'd be heartless if you said you're fine with it. Omg, sucha prostitute. Your not that ugly till the extend of going for an old man right?

Okay maybe I'll understand if that old man happens to be rich. Billionaire. But he's just an average!

Just as I thought having a life without a boyfriend would be much more peaceful (no misunderstanding between parents and self, no jealousy, no scandalism, parents still see you as an angel, etc), something came up. And now I regretted listening to you. Taking in your advices when you're not taking in yours.

I mean c'mon. Must life get any worser? What a day to start with, seriously. Maybe Matiin won't feel a thing about it. He's young. But hello, you got big girls! Your daughters are old enough to think. And what are you lacking of in the mother? She gave you all her support, all her love. Non stop, without fail. What is in that girl that the mother doesn't have? You didn't just spoil my day here. You spoiled our day! And don't you feel guilty for the tears that mother has shed for you? Not a single bit?

Think of the days you weren't there for us. For her.

"After all the things you put her through, still she come right back
But now she knows the truth, I can finally see
You only want her when you're lonely
If said she's gonna leave, that's the only time
you want her"
- Bruno Mars

Don't blame her for acting this way. You mould her into that kind of person, you be responsible. I'm just disappointed. Very disappointed. Enough said.

i lovvvveee him!

2010-05-23T15:56:00.002+08:00

BRUNO MARS/PETER HERNANDEZ

He rocks my world.

I love him, end of story.

2010-05-21T12:36:00.002+08:00

Here I am again, doing things I said that I wouldn't do

It's 3AM and I'm rushing out the door to see you

Waiting, all day, but now you wanna call me

Why do you do this to me all the time?

After all the things you put me through, still I come right back

But now I know the truth, I can finally see

You only want me when you're lonely

If I say I'm gonna leave, that's the only time you want me

Next time you need me there I won't make it

Another late night call I won't take it

Cos now i finally see, you only want me when you're lonely

Only when you're lonely, lonely

Only when you're lonely

Only when you're lonely, lonely

Only when you're lonely

Had me fooled from the start and I quickly gave my heart

COS I LOVE YOU, love you, love you

But this is what happens when you're a lonely girl

with no one to touch you

Now I'm stronger, don't need you any longer

So get off your knees, your words don't mean anything

After all the things you put me through, ooh still I come right back

But now I know the truth, I can finally see

You only want me when you're lonely

If i say I'm gonna leave, that's the only time you want me

Next time you need me there I won't make it

Another late night call I won't take it

Cos now I finally see, you only want me when you're lonely

Oh nothing's ever changing, decisions you can't make it

You just think of yourself and never me at all

If you're with your friend, you just leave me alone

But i won't allow it anymore, so it's time for me to move on

Cos I can finally see, you only want me when you're lonely

If I say I'm gonna leave, that's the only time you want me

Next time you need me there I won't make it

Another late night call I won't take it

Cos now I finally see, you only want me when you're lonely

Only when you're lonely, lonely

Only when you're lonely

Only when you're lonely, lonely

Only when you're lonely

I can finally see, you only want me when you're lonely

If I say I'm gonna leave, that's the only time you want me

Next time you need me there I won't make it

Another late night call I won't take it

Cos now I finally see, you only want me when you're lonely

Keep swimming (x

2010-05-18T21:51:00.003+08:00

So, yesterday and today, the admins decided to organise an outing. SWIMMING!

It was supposed to be today only. But yesterday, Esop and I got overexcited and decided to do it on Monday itself. Yeaaaah :D so only the admins went. Since it was indeed a last minute outing. Today was supposedly cancelled but during break time, Nabil texted Esop and invited us out, SWIMMING! [lols -,-] So because of all the tannings and sunburns, I think we're now not fruits. We're CHOCOLATES! Hehe.

Yesterday was really fun. Rian now knows how to swim and float. Thanks to us ^^ So we did many stupid stuffs yesterday. Unbearably stupid. We went for a short adventure and some lifeguards really made our lives even more sad. But yeah, the admins knows how to put in colors in everyone's lives and we even did block catching. Ahh, good times baby. Haha.

Today was a blast too! But it would have been more complete if Herdi and Sharifah were there. Okay so, the admins still came. Except Sharifah. But she was "replaced" with Nurfa since Nurfa wanted to go so much. Afterall, she is part of the drunken fruits right? Hehe. We waited for the guys to come and only Nabil and Alhanis joined us. As in.. get wet! Lol. Zuhairi, Zack and Alfian didn't swim cause they didn't bring spare clothes. But still we had fun without them ;p Instead of being the taxi, Nabil today became the monkey, the girl who got beaten by Afez and the train. HAHAHA! We played spin the water. And Nabil had to do the most stupidest dare. Hehe. Here goes the scene:

Me: Okay Nabil! I know ready! You go to the baby pool slide and then shout at the top of your voice, "I WANT TO PLAY SLIDE" then slide down and shout, "YAY!"

So he did. And Zuhairi recorded. HAHAH! Wahhh best. Then Alhanis did the Afez Beat Girl parody. And then I said "Hi" to one of the lifeguards. Who turns out to be kindda hot. Haha. Then we swam several laps and ended the day. It was so much fun you guys. I want moooorree!

Oh and I think we need to name the guys too eh Esop? Cause, cam tak fun gtu. Hehe. K gooo.

PS; Ezzatee, Nurfa, Nur and I are freaking tanned. But nevermind, hotstuffsxszxszsxzs :D

Movie!

2010-05-17T23:06:00.002+08:00

I am soooooo gonna watch this. I don't care! Imma watch this many many times (:

Lullaby baby

2010-05-16T04:40:00.003+08:00

Fellow friends. I am here to announce to you that starting from next week, my schedule will be tight. I am booked on weekends by some people already. And really, I am not looking forward to every weekend.

Basically, my entire week will be full of dramas and actions going on during, after and outside school. Lol. One more thing, do come down and support my group and I perform at the Malay Heritage Centre from idk what time. Hehe. I'll update you guys as soon as I receive the schedule paper for Tunas Berseni okay? Your presence would be much appreciated.

Honestly, I find it troublesome to type using the iTouch. But I am too lazy to switch on the lappy and wait for it to load. I think out of all the drunken fruits, I am the only one awake. Hehe. You guys must be wondering what on earth drunken fruits is. No worries, I'll elaborate on that once I am totally free.

Oh yes. I had a blast with the relatives few hours ago. Looking forward to another one y'all.

Right now, I'm going to crash cause tomorrow I'm going to Ikea with the mother and sister to buy the kitchen stuffs and also look around for beautiful furnitures. And before I sleep, I'm gonna do a last update on my Twitter and facebook accounts. Toodles sleepy heads. I'm off!

PS: I love Bruno Mars. I'm going to sleep with his song stuck on replay (:

Another birthday.

2010-05-16T04:27:00.003+08:00

Happy 16th birthday Akhbar. May your wishes and dreams come true. All the best in life! Keep smiling :D

fucccck

2010-05-15T00:20:00.002+08:00

I'm finally not stressed over exams anymore. At least for now =X Tuesday's the results and I'm freaking nervous. I have a strooooong feeling I'll be doing badly for my exams. Ugh, stupid stupid! Basically, today I spent my whole day watching funny videos. LLLOOOLLL!

Okay whatever. I have nothing to say. I'm just fucking pissed with SOME PERSONS now.

Happy Birthday Lil Bro. Seriously, grow up(:

sadly..

2010-05-06T20:59:00.002+08:00

I still can't believe that I AM on hiatus ):

On hiatus people, I'll come back real soon.

-.-

2010-04-27T00:20:00.000+08:00

HAISS.

I'm not listening.

2010-04-25T21:00:00.002+08:00

EVERYTHING JUST SUCK TERRIBLY!

I'm not a good sister because it's always me who pick up the fight. I'm not a good daughter because I'm stubborn than the rest. I'm not a good student because I talk a lot. I'm not a good dancer because I just suck at it. I'm not a good friend to my baby girls because I'm always not there for them. I'm not a good girlfriend because I once abused my ex's trust and love. And I regret EVERYTHING. I'm just sick and tired of this drama that's going on in my life. I hate the script, I hate the story. I hate the people involve because I always hurt them. I don't want to pretend anymore. I'm not perfect. Not even close. I am full of shit. I hate me. I hate Illa Syakilah. I hate myself for being emo. But I hate the things that happened to me which caused me to be like this more. And for that, I would like to say this once again...

EVERYTHING JUST SUCK TERRIBLY!

LOL

2010-04-25T02:34:00.004+08:00

*coughs* gotta clean up the mess.

Speaking of mess.. My life is now in a total mess. To-tal-mess. And sorry for not keeping this blog updated. I swear I don't have time to update. So now, I'm watching Adnan Semp-it. AND blogging at the same time.

Okay so, last Wednesday.. the seniors of Purbanira Seni stepped down. GOD, this is the time to buck up for the MAJOR N LEVELS. I am so freaking nervous. So far, I have been coping well with my studies. But surely he'll come and distract me. And it's so freaking annoying. How else can I forget you? Ugh.

Anyways, it's been 3 weeks since I put up with this stupid flu and cough. When the hell will it end? See! My life is in a total mess.

Honestly, I have nothing to share. Nothing interesting have been happening. My life's mundane. Really mundane. I need colors. Who wants to color my life? :D oh wait! I totally forgot. From next week onwards, my life will be twice as busy as now. So girls, understand understood okay.

Oh yes! The girls.. Marissa is obviously non-stop with her Justin Bieber. Now Atiqa's obsessed with Awal Ashaari. Shafiqa ehh.. hahahah! Nazrah, no news. Me, no one new. Okay I'm done blogging. BYE!

wow.

2010-04-21T18:39:00.002+08:00

Isn't this pretty? Godddd. Congratulations Khairy Solandres and Marissa and me! :D

LISTEN

2010-04-19T01:08:00.000+08:00

his voice is freaking nice. omggggg. listen!

you see through me

2010-04-15T23:45:00.004+08:00

Firstly, you failed to convince me I am important in this world. In your life. You know what, nevermind. I don't think you even want to hear my opinion. I am not jealous. I am just fucking pissed off on what you said to me. Fucking pissed off.

Today (according to time), Atiqa Subaby, Shafiqa and I were sick. We were in the same situation. Throat pain, flu and we were freezing even at the highest room temperature. We slept almost in every period cause we were too weak. Yeah. But today, with this kind of health, YELLOW HOUSE CHEERLEADERS CLINCHED CHAMPIONSHIP!

I am very very proud of all of you. ALL of you. I really appreciate your commitment in this team. Let's not put this bond we've created aside. Once in a while, we should organise some outings. Also very much thanks especially to Fadick and Akhbar for replacing the two bastards who left us hanging at the very last minute.

I'm sorry I don't sound happy. Some bitch just popped my happy bubble. Fuck her.

Let's perform a new routine.

2010-04-15T02:12:00.003+08:00

Dear dancers, get ready to learn a new routine. Cause guess what? I just fixed a performance! Yeah, Atiqa.. I'll show you all the steps with the song. It's freaking nice I tell you. Hehe.

I'm gonna make it useful

2010-04-15T00:55:00.002+08:00

Babygirls, my flu is preventing me from sleeping. So guess what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna start off with our book. Hehe.

Yes, it is.

2010-04-15T00:12:00.002+08:00

Oh god. My flu, cough and sore throat is killing me. I am having a migraine and I've tried my very best to sleep it away but to no avail. Somebody, tell me what to do! Don't make me fall sick on the day I have to dance and cheer, please.

I am going to write a letter to Miss Liu and explain to her why it is important for me to dance. Dancing has always been my passion and what if this is my last year in East Spring? At least I have a last dance in front of the crowd. Furthermore, it has always been a pleasure for me to dance. No pain, no gain. I want to dance. Yes, I am stubborn. So what? I want to dance. The end.

Standby tissues. I'm gonna need lots of it. Mucus, ew! Haha.

And to all the other houses,

BREAK A LEG (:

we are proud of you say we are proud of you.

Win or lose, at least you've done your best and as long as you had fun it's worth it. So, go go! Haha. Looking forward to your performances. *winks*

If that's what you want

2010-04-14T18:27:00.003+08:00

My ankle is better now. Waaaay better. And I am so fucking happy. Why? Because Izzathy told me that we will be dancing for YOG event. Like omg, seriously I want! And and, tomorrow I'll be performing with my cheerleaders. Yellow, go go! I love you guys oh so much. We will leave the place with so much pride, I promise you that (:

Anyhoos, "E past guy" has successfully grab my fullest attention. I've been wondering who he is. He can't be A neither can he be H. I mean, yeah.. when I said that I was sad because he didn't care, it was meant for A. And I know H knows that. So, who is it? The way he type is so not like A but like H. And that's why I can't stop thinking bout this.

What else should I talk about eh? Oh yes, my voice. I'm losing it! And I'm down with flu. And you know I hate these kindda stuff. It makes my voice sound like Squidward and I can't sing! I tried just now. Omg, pitching lari babe.

So today was the Speech Day rehearsal and it was awesome. The uniform groups did well and the band performed greatly. From outside, it seems as though our school was having a party with the music playing at full blast. Totally cool. But the guest-of-honor, boooriiinngggg.

You know what, I guess I have this real great passion for dancing. I realise that if I have to do something that is relevant to dancing, I'd try to get over my obstacles or fears or pains just to perform. And you know what, I'm happy. Very happy.

So true, omg.

2010-04-14T00:47:00.002+08:00

The past may play a role in your love affairs today, Leo, and you are feeling extremely connected to those that are communicating with you. If you are single, you may feel the urge to write an email or make a phone call to someone from your history. This renewed connection will be favorable for you so long as you enter this experience with a dose of objectivity. Attached? Some memories and old feelings are going to surface now that may leave you questioning some key issues in your relationship. Try to recall those old thoughts and feelings so that you can remember the love that brought you here in the first place.

Things are taking a serious tone in your love affairs, Leo, and you will be making some serious changes in this period. Whether you are single or attached, you can expect some new beginnings on the road ahead, and you will be making some changes that are long lasting. These decisions will stem from mistakes you have learned from in the past, and will have a profound effect on all of your current relationships. This may involve a change of residence, marriage, or a break from something long term that hasn't been working for some time. During these changes you will undergo some serious self analysis and you will question the direction you are taking. You are on the right path, and your long term results are favored at this time regardless of what your final answer may be.

It's all about ______.

2010-04-13T13:06:00.003+08:00

So, I haven't been updating my blog for 2 days. Is it? Yeah, whatever. My bad, anyways. I'll try keeping you guys updated about my life. That is, if you read. Hah. Yesterday was really upsetting. I don't get to practice my cheer steps with the cheerleaders. Just because of my ankle. Then, hopefully, I still get to perform for Sri Warisan's Tunas Berseni. It all depends on the ankle. Yes, the ankle.

During the upcoming YOG, Cik Som has assigned my group and I to help out with the event. I don't know in terms of what, though. I hope it's dancing! Hehe. Abang Adel supposedly wanted to assign sister to an event or two either this or the next coming week. However, school's coming her way. So she ain't free.

I am supposed to express my view on International Friendship Day on my other blog (my school blog). Instead, I'm spending and risking my time for you readers. So please, tag la!

I'm sad he doesn't care but at the same time, I'm happy I didn't get affected by it. He's my past right? Why would I see him in my future? My future will be waaay better without him. My future, I will see a better looking guy as compared to him. Yes. What I say is what I get.

Not to get excited or whatever, but these few days, his presence don't distract me anymore. Okay, I want to update my school blog now. Or I'll have to stay back and complete it. Alone. Good bye babies. (:

Hello hello! My name's Dibo!

2010-04-10T17:44:00.002+08:00

Dibo the Gift Dragon made me wanna bake cookies. So here I am, baking cookies. Who wants some? Hehe.

XOXO..

2010-04-05T18:03:00.005+08:00

Saaaaaaaaaaaap!! Nurshafiqa here!

Idontknow if she's aware of me,

sneaking into her account. Heh but hell,

I know she wont mind. Ohh yeaa.

Its my birthday todaay! Heehee. Well,

Im left with only 5 hours and 52 minutes

to celebrate. Heh but whatever,

I can have all my life, just celebrating it right.

Oh yeaa and babe, today, you did it.

You held your words. You kept me going and

smiling all along. Hah. And with your 'L' kan babe.

And me with my 'M'. Hahaha!

Ohh well, ILOVEYOUUU BABYGIRL!

<33333333333

LOTS OF LOVE

2010-04-05T01:19:00.003+08:00

SHAFIQAAAA!

I know now you must be wondering, when the hell was this photo taken?

Haha, see that girl on the right side? Aren't she adorable, that babygirl of mine?

Today's her 16th birthday and I would like to wish her a happy happy birthday.

Like I said, NEVER hesitate to come to me if there's anything.

You are a girl with a very very big and strong heart, don't let anybody take advantage of it.

Today, I want to see you smile like a princess and don't let anyone ruin your day.

Okay? I love you very much babygirl. (:

May all your wishes and dreams come true.

Don't mind those bastards. After all, we were first born to this world without them.

So why do we need them now on our birthday?

G mampos laa dorg eh, Shaf? ^^

ughh.

2010-04-02T19:50:00.003+08:00

Okay so, I'm now near the fish pond waiting for my mom who is visiting my granny at her ward. I'm listening to sister talking while eating my mr bean, cheese flavor.

Currently, Shafiqa, Nazrah and I are feeling very down. Very very down. Dilemma la people. Seriously, fuck uh. The same old thang. Tried many many ways to avoid this stupid dilemma. But to no avail. Sheesh! I'm now in the car on the way home. Hah. Yes uh, can sleep my misery away.

Yesterday was the most fucking annoying day. At one moment, I was damn nervous, then I was crying then I ended up laughing. I was so devastated yesterday. A joke that ended up being the answer to my every question. Thanks a lot. You ruined my April.

I'm reaching home soon. Gonna buy some bean curd for tomorrow first. Granny's craving for it(:

When are you gonna love me again? ):

2010-03-31T03:45:00.003+08:00

I have yet to..

1) Sleep

2) Finish my conclusion and comments for changes in food

3) English (too lazy)

4) Charge my phone

I am so so exhausted. Granny was admitted to the hospital due to stroke. I hope she's getting better now, with all the extra love and attention. I love her. Every now and then, my family will come and pay her a visit. So yeah, no more slacking after school. Oklah, maybe for a short while. Hee. [;

What is up with me!? I am losing my focus in my one & only easiest subject to score which is my Food & Nutrition. God! I think I know why. The two annoying teachers simply could not stop picking on me despite me doing my work and minding my own business. Well, they can't be in denial because it's true. Right Shaffy? Right Atiqa? They realised it. But the teachers never realised that I have been putting up with all those shits. And one more thing, put yourself in my shoes. Nenek kau masuk hospital, tipu uh kau tknk visit dher hari2! You ask me to not be rude but you never think of my feelings. What the fk?

I am starting to like Maths. Ergh, whatever. That's because I've been paying attention in class and I get to answer all questions correctly. Let's just wait for the moment when suddenly Ms Tay absent herself and then I become lazy or I don't understand a single thing she said.

You guys must be wondering, why the hell is she complaining about her incomplete tasks but still have the cheeks to update her blog? Firstly, it's been a while since I last updated my blog. Secondly, I totally give up on my research. At least I did 98% of it!

Last Monday, spent the night with Fadhli, Marissa and Atiqa. Haha. It was fun! We confessed many many things and one of it was about the class. I love my class man! Like, seriously. Despite our craps, I love them. And guys, you all can't blame Abby and clans for disturbing the class. Sometimes, you guys disrupt the lessons too. And don't you realise? Without them, the class wouldn't be as united as we are now. And without hem, the lessons won't be as lively.

I'm still in love with the same guy. Is that good or bad?

When are you gonna come back and hold my hand like you used too, asshole!? When are you gonna love me like last time? When? The day I die right in front of you? Tell me, when? ):

And it's not easy moving on without you. It's fucking not easy.

Especially when we see each other like almost everyday and suddenly I get so worried when I don't see you. Let me be desperate at least for now, I WANT YOU!

Okay, I'm done being desperate.

Nights.

lolszsxzsxzs

2010-03-28T02:28:00.001+08:00

HAHAHA. THIS IS GETTING FUNNIER.

Let's just hope it won't come true.

That Star star girl

2010-03-24T10:36:00.004+08:00

Hey babies, ATIQA SUBABY here.
Basically, I would like to inform every single one of you that babygirls are back.
So, fcuk you.
Try separating us, we'll separate you from us.
Bitch about us, we'll bitch about you back.
Don't try to act nice in front of us when you're not.
Just stop your drama.
I think I act better than you do.
So, back off.
I love my babygirls and they're forever in my heart.
Sorry to say you're not in my heart but you're in my asshole.
Ooopps.
If you think you can be the best bitch, then prove to me baby.
If not, shut your stupid mouth.
Therefore, babygirls are back together as one!
Alrights, XOXO.
I LOVE ILLA SYAKILAH BTE MOHD YAZID~

This is fact, not fiction.

2010-03-22T20:11:00.002+08:00

Okay. Maybe I was too ego to not hear the complete story. But you guys should have listened to ours instead of assuming too right? After much thought, it wasn't any of our faults. We didn't mean anything we said, you know that. And yeah, we know you won't do such a thing too. C'mon, we have to trust each other and not get easily convinced by those bitches. Okay, to be specific.. That bitch. It was her fault. Nothing of these would have happened if she was wise enough to keep her stinky mouth shut. But you know, being a sober, she couldn't stop backstabbing others to befriend with others. Some people don't really deserve a chance. Like seriously. You never changed babe. Since Sec 1. You never changed.

Okay so, today's cheerleading practice was awesome! Okaylah, drastic change, great improvement. I like! The choreography was yellow-tastic and hopefully, with the team spirit, confidence and enthusiasm.. we can achieve the best cheer group. Yay! Exclusive uh yellow house. You know I love you guys. So don't let the ex-cos down okay, dear ones? (:

Countdown to East Spring Olympics: 3 more days!

Ready? Okay! Hehe. Ya so today, spent the morning with the chinese guys and Fadick at the back of the class. Shared awesome stories and sad ones too): It's okay dude, you still have hope. Haha. Unlike me laa ehh. Okay so Fadick couldn't stop re-enacting the part where we had to close our eyes during workshop. Iman was cool! ^^ Haha. Ni macam baru gerek. Hehe. Okay so, I think that's about it. I skipped F&N Academic Support Program without getting caught. Baik uh Illa! Haha. Mdm Humaiyah's haunting me. -.-

So funny this one.

2010-03-21T01:59:00.002+08:00

I find this freaking funny. Haha. Okay, whatever. Today, as in not according to time, I finally realised that I have been making a fool out of myself. I mean, hopeless. I spent months wasting my time for nothing. With patience and loyalty and all I get in return is heart pain. And really. I think Shaf has a point when she said, "No point keeping messages". He doesn't even care if I cared about him. So what's the point? True? So true.

So wherever you are, I hope you're happy cause I'm not gonna bug you anymore. Last long.

And really, if you wanna play with fire, I can. Cause I am not even frightened sampaikan nak share dengan smer orang problem kite so that people will support your side of the story. Pathetic much? Haha. Whatever la. I still can't forget about everything though ): SO FUCKING HARD! ):

I'm going crazy!~

2010-03-19T20:35:00.005+08:00

Hehe. I look like Anastasia's (Cinderella's step sister) cat. So fat. Kening maintain, sis. Haha!

This one reminds me of the smiling blue cat in Alice in the Wonderland. HAHA!

This one reminds me of one of my friend's friend. I don't wanna say who. Like bastard later. Heh.

I don't feel happy or sad. I think I feel crazy today :D Something's making me crazy and I just don't know what is it that makes me crazy. Anyhoos, many thanks to Shafiqa, Effah, Efan, Mad & Andrew for making my day today. <3

HA HA

2010-03-19T14:04:00.003+08:00

Oh man. Somebody thinks I was born yesterday! Wow, I check my eyes? THINK AGAIN. You check your eyes. And maybe you should try going thru what you said. Definitely, that'll help. You improve, not us. We certainly had no problems with you. Read your blog and see whos finding the problem now aye? And yeah, stop twisting your words. I bet you're going to say this when you're reading it, "Sejak bile aku belit2 cerita sia? Kiwak." Well, truth is you are. And there you go saying you know what you are doing. Let me tell you this, NO. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING.

Have you ever wondered why I said the fuck? Hoho. Figure it out yourself. From the way you sound, I know that your twisting your words. Really. Maybe because your TOO kind that's why you SUB-CONSCIOUSLY became a puppet. Angry with the two of us? I fucking went to the airport laa. NOW I AM GOING TO SAY THIS BACK TO YOU. I KNOW WHAT I AM DOING AT THAT TIME. OKAY!? So whos fault is it now huh? Pretty cool huh!??!?!?!?

You know what, no point saying everything now. We definitely know we weren't the one who started the fire. So clean up your mess. Okay? You read your blog. Then you'll know why I said that.

friends or frienemies?

2010-03-18T21:34:00.006+08:00

And you guys were saying we were keeping things away from you. So what did we miss? Ok wait, I know this. A lot. You claimed she was the one who was there for you. Obviously. Ok fine, maybe you weren't conscious about this but it's okay, I'm telling you what happened now. Each time we asked you what's going on when you pull the long face, you'd just keep quiet or shake your head. So was it OUR fault? I don't think so.

Ok so yeah, we said you were being the puppet. Turns out right, right? Well, you wanted us to be straightforward right? So no harm telling you the truth. You wanna know what we ever talked about you? THAT'S ALL. If you freaking think you wanna fuck us (the rest) then suits yourself. Cause I'm never fucking you back because you're my friend. You know, I'm really really disappointed in you. A 4 year friendship, just going down the drain. And we clearly know it wasn't our faults. Maybe to you it was. But whatever since you couldn't care less about us, fuckers.

And you. You know who you. I'm keeping you low because I have respect for you. And you should have the same thing for me. I don't care if you're so fly or whatever they call it. I don't care if you're the eye candy to every guy. But let me tell you one thing I care, your attitude. And it sucks. Maybe you said you were tryna bring something good out of a person by being sarcastic. Well, that's pure crap. Nobody does that. That's the stupidest thing I have ever heard in my 15 years of living. Now let me ask you, you like it when we do it to you? I believe not. And really, do you think when the two animals were being sarcastic to you, they cared for you? Definitely not. So don't use that as a reason.

If you say Shafiqa was influenced by someone because she wasn't her well, I'm sorry but you're certainly not her true friend. She has been feeling that way since forever just that we freaking cared so much about how you'd feel that we decided to zip it. You once said that I didn't stand up for you when they talked bad about you. Eh, what do you know? You weren't there to hear or witness anything! So can I say I'm standing for my rights now? Oh yes I can.

You don't have a friend's best interest at heart. You didn't know what I feel about you being close to ____. And you didn't notice me throwing hints that I didn't like you making friends with _____. I am disappointed in you too. You fucking used me. And sorry that word HAD to come out. Many times, I tried to put you first before me because I really cared. It was such a pity seeing you being disgraced by those animals. But again, you were the one who didn't stand up for me. So what if you were sad? So what if you were angry? If I can, you can. Still, you sat there with them and talked about how stupid I was to trust those animals. What would I feel? Ever thought of that? I just felt that you were going to treasure me and be my good friend. But you proved me wrong. YOU proved me wrong.

You are afraid. Yes, you are. You are afraid to leave us. You're not gonna miss us later on or have a hard time trying to forget the memories we all shared. You're just freaking afraid to go solo. Put your ego aside and tell us the truth. There was no need to say that you could go solo in school. Really. And you said that they could just take you back in. What the fuck are you tryna say? So what now? Are you using us? It was like telling us that you were afraid to go solo that was why you chose to get close with us! And now, when we're having a problem, you said they could accept you back. Explain babe.

You know, if I were to go on, this won't stop. I'm just gonna stop talking about you. And up to you if you wanna accept this or not. But let me remind you. You chose to leave, so be it. Don't try to be all goody two shoes so that people will sympathise you. It doesn't work anymore. You get what you say. Peace.

Now, I'm not saying that nothing is my fault and I have never backstabbed any of you. I admit I did. And I'm sorry.

Effah & Hidayah: I just hated the fact that you guys look so snobbish and bratty. And you looked as if you didn't like us being around you. But heck, that was the past. We're fine now, aren't we?

Noura: I didn't really talk about you. In fact, I already told you what I talked about you. Another thing is, I know you're up to the "I only want a boyfriend at 18" but you know, sometimes, love comes and you just can't stop it. So yeah. That's about it.

Nazrah: I guess you know what I'm gonna say. Maybe you should just chill out and not take anything seriously. And really, you should try understanding what a person would feel. I mean, you did but try harder babe. And your tone, keep it soft and steady. Don't be too harsh *winks* I love you.

Shafiqa: Oh this one. This one I hate most. Hehe, babe. As far as I could remember, I didn't talk about you. (: I love you too and please don't ever forget to love me back, twinnie. *kiss*

Yanti & Fateha: HAHA! How can I talk about them? They're so quiet when it comes to these things. Chill babes, I'm totally fine with you guys. Hee.

Adilah: Speechless babe. You never changed. Keep up the show. 3 words definitely; I hate you.

So I guess, good things never last aye? Too much of everything can make you sick, the saying goes. I guess I'm sick now. Peace - again.

and it WILL come back.

2010-03-18T10:32:00.004+08:00

One month!? Fuck, that would be impossible! I'm not an expert on that okay. This is my first time stealing someone back. Hah! I'm so evil.

So yesterday reached home at 8pm. Fadick walked me home. Aww. Many stupid things came out of my mouth and his mouth! Okay, maybe his was more nonsense. Haha. And he say I walk fast. Oh my, he's the first. So finally, my holidays are holidays. Wait no, it's not. I've got research to edit. And some homeworks to complete. That makes it no holiday D:

Okay when I got back home, Fadick said that he was still on the market and I wasn't his girlfriend. So I tweeted back to him. I said, "Wth Fadick? Why would people even think we're in a relationship!?" And he said that when he went online, many people asked if we were attached and they said we make a sweet couple. Oh my Prada! That's sooo 2008. Like seriously -.-

GUESS WHAT!? I HAD A NIGHTMARE/DREAM. I FOUGHT WITH ABANG. AND HE SPRAYED WATER AT ME. AND THAT DREAM CONSIST OF ABANG (DUH-.-), FADICK, SHAFIQA AND ------. FREAKY RIGHT?

Many things happened between the girls yesterday and I think shan't elaborate any further. But Dr Ernest Wong, Ken & Peter. They were great people I tell you. No wonder Adam Khoo's so successful today. Actually, I have nothing much to say. Nothing interesting. Notice me starting every post with the same topic. Haha! So if I continue, I think it would be all about him. Hehe.

PS: I'm sick.

Sweet dreams or a beautiful nightmare?

2010-03-16T21:03:00.005+08:00

And I got back around 7.15pm? To tired to slack around, I guess. Got an unexpected text message from W. I've accomplished my task of telling my mom I love her so much and she's my everything no matter what. I gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

Today, I did a lot. I cried in the morning because of something. I fell asleep with my eyes wide open. I learnt the value of life. I sang my heart out. I cried again. And I managed to convince myself that if I work towards something and believe I can do it or get hold of it again, it can and will happen. Furthermore, I've have taken the challenge from Adilah and I will prove her that I can get what I want.

I feel tired today. Real tired. Sending off grandparents to Hongkong tomorrow morning after Subuh. Then maybe getting myself a mac breakfast. Hehe. Shit laa, I am so fucking restless! Ergh. And babygirls, let's not forget to combine forces tonight and pray that ______ will ______ with ______. Hehe. Yay!

That is if you remember

2010-03-15T03:49:00.002+08:00

Okay, so I didn't watch movies but read my whole of last year's updates. I had a great laugh and of course some drops of tears.

I miss you fetching me from home. I miss you holding my hand. I miss you giving me morning kisses every day. I miss going to school with you. I miss you pampering me. I miss you being concerned about me. I miss you trying to cheer me up no matter how sad I am. I miss you making me laugh. I miss your nonsense. I miss your eyes. I miss your smile. I miss your laugh. I miss being jealous. I miss your hugs and kisses. I miss getting angry about you. I miss texting only you. I miss seeing you get high for nothing. I miss getting breathless whenever I see you. I miss getting the sweetest of things from you. I miss messing your hair around. I miss "block-catching" with you. I miss wearing your specy. I miss your drawings. I miss your smell. I miss how much I always feel stupid when I do something weird. I miss you teasing me. I miss taking pictures with you. I miss taking your phone away from you for spot check and end up I got myself smiling because all I see was my name and my face, everywhere. I miss you, ____________.

I always thought I needed time on my own. And I'm so stupid to only realise that now that I needed you most. I seriously can't imagine her getting all of it instead of me. Fuck fuck. Illa, accept the fact la please!

*sings keep forgetting to forget about you*

very sad lorrr

2010-03-15T02:24:00.002+08:00

Okay, I just found out another very interesting thing! Not. Remember when I said I found out about something very heart breaking and it was about him moving on so fast? It was on the EIGHT of February. Another sad thing ):

I know this information is so whatever but I just feel like sharing. I keep on hearing the song Keep Forgetting to Forget About You by Jojo and get so sad whenever I hear it. I can't stop singing along to that song. Sedang berjiwang la katekan.

if only everything i said were true

2010-03-15T01:45:00.003+08:00

It's 2 in the morning and I'm not asleep. I got back home at around 12.15am and I'm still fresh. I've got a motivational workshop to attend tomorrow and you know how lazy I can be right? Gooooddd, might as well they don't fix a holiday. Tons of homeworks to finish up. Courseworks to handle. Fun? Hehe. And all sorts. So fatiguing. Oklah, homeworks are now lesser cause I've done most of it :D

Yesterday night after the post, something terrible happened. Yeah. But it's all settled now. Yeah. I don't know why I can't stop saying the word yeah but yeah, whatever. I have nothing to say for today. Again, I've been pressurised. What else if not about Maths? It's killing me! Yeaaaah D:

You know, sometimes my only wish is so that whatever I said will come true. Like, how nice if he were to be mine and it happens. Or or, I prefer the old him, come back ): and baaaam! it happens. Yeah, if only. I think I'd be the happiest kid alive if that happens. I cannot sleep, as usual. I think I wanna watch some Indonesian movies. Hehe. Good night babyloves.

When we yell you say OH!~

2010-03-14T03:18:00.006+08:00

Kay let's get the facts right. Our cheerleaders never use anybody's dance move. NEVER. We choreograph our own steps and please, kita tak seteruk gitu sampai nak copy2 ni smer. We have sportsmanship. Yeah, that's the word. Menang kalah, tak heran ehh. Asal kan effort ade da cukop bagos. Sorry if I sound mean, but you guys should know. WE'D NEVER DO THAT. PLEASE.

peace.

Only you can save me from myself

2010-03-14T01:56:00.006+08:00

I feel so stucked in nowhere. Many times, I try to move on but to no avail. What the heeeeellllll. It's hard to find a guy with the exact same characteristics as him. As in, he was so patient and understanding. He put up with all my craps. And yeah, loving him makes me feel like I'm in cloud nine.

Some people said I'm going insane by sticking to our memories and not trying to move on. Truth is.. I am moving on. But at the same time holding on to our memories. And let me quote a phrase from this particular song: "just when I think about someone new, I keep on forgetting to forget about you". Yeah, it's hard to let it all go.

Kay whatever. Early in the morning yesterday, mom met up with Ms Liu. The Parent-Teacher Dialogue was supposed to be one to one right? Mr Tan joined in the conversation and they ended up talking about my ambitions -.- I was happy I didn't get bad remarks, though.

Then, Sri Warisan got cancelled. So I met up with Atiqa, Atiqa Didy, Marissa and Shafiqa. I met Shaffy a while at tmart and then headed to 363 to finish up my homework while I can. Then, as usual, Atiqa Didy was late! But when she came, she helped me with my history. And after completing my homeworks, I placed them at the respective teachers' pigeon holes since school was just few steps away. Marissa came and we went to our usual "Marissa, Illa, Atiqa and Atiqa Didy" place. For cheerleading. So I choreographed some steps, Atiqa Didy mixed some songs and voila!

After that, nothing much happened. Headed home, watched Starworld. Then fell asleep, didn't drool. Woke up, watched Starworld again. Then Paris Hilton's new BFF at MTV. I hate Tiniecia. Got annoyed by that old bitch, so switched it off. And here I am.. Listening to songs, singing along, blog hopping and blogging. Now that's multi tasking *winks*

PS: I'm sorry, W ):

(:

2010-03-08T02:15:00.003+08:00

Must it always turn out this way?

I am doing my coursework and trying to edit everything I can. Thank goodness I have an experienced sister. I'm watching Disney Channel: The Replacements, hearing songs and eating Hershey's Chocolate Chips. Now that's multi-tasking.

I'm getting really annoyed by my brother. As in my cousin. Tell you what, anything about Marissa, please don't ask me okay? It's up to her whether she wants you and you have to try to win her heart yourself. You're getting too obsessed. Erk. And btw, I'm not making this up but she's totally in love with her guy. Sorry I indirectly mentioned you but really, I tried to make you "terasa" in many of my posts. But you didn't, so here it is. I'm tired of matchmaking people and in the end, I get the bad lucks. So yeah.

Okay let's get back to the main topic which is, "must it always turn out this way?" I've tried many many things to get you off my mind. And fuck, it's not freaking easy. Maybe what sister said was right. Maybe because I'm still stuck with our memories that's why I feel like I'm still stuck in 2009. I don't know how you got over me and I don't know how you managed to convince yourself to move on with ANOTHER girl but you've got to teach me that.

I contacted many many guys for the pass 7 months and never got into a relationship. Okay maybe I was about to get into a relationship when suddenly I turned them down. Out of all the guys I contacted, I only managed to be serious with two of them. And they should know who they are. One of the two, I just started to contact him a few days back. Okay maybe it's too early to get serious. And to be honest, I do have feelings for him but I'm just not confident to make him my boyfriend. So yeah. But you, you don't seem to be tired of wondering in my mind.

Okay let's just get to the point. To ______, you're not getting in between me and him. Because we have nothing special going on. And furthermore, he's got a girlfriend. So there's nothing to feel guilty about. Hope to get him back? I don't think so. He seems to be happy to be with that another girl. I'm sorry I hide things away from you. I should have told you earlier. And one more thing, you shouldn't be saying sorry to me. I'm glad you're understanding. And.. Don't give up *winks*

happy

2010-03-01T01:39:00.003+08:00

... and bom! He confessed. What am I supposed to do!?

Kay let's do a proper post today. Yes, I'm not asleep. Again, I can't. Last Thursday, some guy asked me to be his girlfriend when he was high. And thank god, I rejected. Or I'd be attached to him by now -.- And that guy is... I won't mention who. Haha. It's funny though.

And on that day too, my class went on a trip to Hort Park at Pasir Panjang. Then as Nazrah, Shafiqa and I were slacking while studying while singing while writing love letters while gossiping, somebody texted me. He got my number from this bird. Haha. But at first he claimed that he got my number from his old number which was nonsense! Only after he confessed to me, he told me the truth. And the question he asked me, was about me and him. He's sweet. But ______'s still in my heart. I'm sorry, it's difficult.

Ok moving on.

Last Friday, I was a happy lady and I'm glad nobody burst my happy bubble. No, there is but whatever. I reached home only at 7.30pm from school and I was damn tired, but as a great BFF to Nazrah, I took the time to teach her some steps nearby our apartments. Reached home at around 11.30pm and got a text from that guy who got my number from the bird, did some work and slept.

Next day, woke up early to accompany mom to withdraw money from MayBank and then to CPF Building to deposit money. After all that, did some shopping at Charles and Keith and decided to breakfast at Sakae Sushi. Sister and I got ourselves bloated and headed to the interchange to take the bus. Along the way, we slept. Hehe. But I left early and didn't get to learn the whole steps for Warisan Seni. ):

After which, I headed for the train to Simei and boarded bus 9 to Tampines East CC for Chingay performance. Yeah, was nervous but heck nobody said anything. Okaylah, no comments huh. Reached home late and texted the same guy and then got fucked up by SBB and WAB and they stole my mood. With the help of my Shaffy baby and Hazir, I got over them and yeah.

*In the process of learning a contemporary dance for Speech day and hip hop dance for cheerleading*

Sunday, did nothing. Went over to Granny's house and ate, ate ate. Now back home, watching MTV Hits while blogging. Justin Bieber's on(:

Karma

2010-02-28T02:53:00.002+08:00

Supporter count: 4

Let's get some things about WAB and SBB off my chest. You guys are totally ego, so whatever. You want it so desperately? Go ahead. We'll see who hates who later. Maybe what my friend said was right. Maybe I should summon some confidence and tell you guys off. But it's okay, I'll make it a big surprise one day.

Karma works. Without me having to do anything, it'll all be running back to you. Let's see the list off things you've done that we have been observing closely. Okay fine, maybe only the three of us noticed your bitchiness. But hey, check the supporter count (:

Number 1; you have successfully brainwashed the weaker ones single-handedly but that does not mean you can do the same to us. We aren't puppets who stand up for you every time you lose. Hey, you wanna win so much? Work for it. Don't make people fight for YOUR battle. After all, no pain no gain.

Number 2; what? You wanna know our secrets? Oh gosh, do you even know the definition of ashamed? Oh wait, I guess your English is bloody good we don't even need to explain. Let's get this straight, if nobody tells you anything, just zip that smelly mouth of yours. I don't wanna see your humungous and yellow teeth.

Number 3; oh, I'm sorry things didn't work out the way you wanted it to be. Really, I am. Not. Please, what makes you think I wanna listen to each and every word that comes out from your mouth when I don't even listen to my mom's? Ha ha. Miss Perfect? Miss second-rate, more like. We don't only think about your feelings in this world. Wake up, bitch. This isn't your world.

Number 4; wait, are you tryna make me jealous when you know I'm super sensitive about these things/topic? God, what an angel. You expect us to take care of your small, cold heart when you can freely stomp on ours? Sorry, we're not your other puppets.

Number 5; awww, are you sad? You feel guilty reading this? Don't be. It already happened. Your a bitch, accept the fact. Say whaaaaat? Us? Buy you flowers to console you and lighten your heart? Go fuck yourself. Don't expect us to do these things to you when you don't even care about us when we feel this way. Matter fact, you even pulled those puppets of yours to not entertain us.

Number 6; is it me or is it you who's seeking attention? Oh wait, it's you. Big time asshole. Cherish what you have. Not everything is yours. And one more thing, don't ever go for guys according to what they have and what they are. Seriously, pathetic.

Number 7; me? Busybody? Please. I've known that guy way longer before you did. So, I have the right to like him first. And I am not like you, I'm original. Okay? Good.

Number 8; baby, don't make friends by buying them. It'll never last. Stop over-doing your kindness. I'm getting sick of it. Really. Cause sooner or later, you'd ask for a return. Correct? Correct.

Lastly, it's okay. You can say sorry. I'm always there to forgive you cause you know why? We're too used to getting bitched by you again! Slut.

Ok done. I'm just gonna let go of it now and take some rest. I've been busy the whole week and Sunday's my only day at home. That too, I have to do my research. By the way, I'm not gonna mention names. You know who you are. If you read this and you feel guilty, well, so be it. I won't mention names. Siapa yang makan chilli, dialah yang terasa pedasnya. Goodnight all.

how i wish i dont have feelings for you anymore

2010-02-25T00:11:00.003+08:00

I CAN'T STOP THINKING BOUT THIS. I WANT YOU BACK! AND I'M NOT GIVING UP UNTIL YOU KNOW IT.

and that's how much i love you ):

I love you, B

2010-02-24T23:15:00.003+08:00

Maybe I am happy to see him happy. However, knowing the fact that every time he hold his phone to text, it's his girlfriend it hurts me. But I'm getting used to this feeling already. So far this is the longest I've ever waited for some guy.

I just hope he'll last long with her(: Insya'Allah.

curtain close

2010-02-23T00:13:00.004+08:00

It is confirmed. The answer came right out of his own mouth, straight to my face. I heard everything clearly. And there's nothing else I could do but to try to move on. I need help, I don't know how to go on. He's everything I ever wanted.

No more tears are left for me to cry. I have cried enough. And I deserve to cry, don't I? I totally abused his trust last time. It's a lesson for me to learn. But to accept the fact that he is with someone new and replacing you, it is so heart piercing. I keep on imagining him hugging her the way he hugged me and all. Even now, my heart's sinking trying to explain.

That's it. I need some cheering up. Anyone? (:

Next Saturday, there's a Chingay Fiesta @ Tampines and Purbanira Seni will be performing. Yan will attend her dikir while I go for SW practice first. After that, the plan goes like this: Yan and I will meet up at city hall around 4pm(?) and then we'll go to the venue. Wahh, busy eh kita. Rush sini, rush sana.

Anyways, thanks to Ms Dior. She should know for what laa ehh. Without her, I would have still be hanging out here hoping for a stray of hope to shine on me.

Today's ASp was dead boring. We talked, as usual, did a little of our work and since we're in an air-conditioned room, we slept. Haha. ASP ends at 4.30pm and we proceeded to our pre-heats. Which ended around 6plus? Yan lost her wallet and as a good amd caring sister (hehe), I accompanied her back home. We walked all the way from school to our respective apartment blocks.

That's about it. Sorry I didn't update for like ______ and yea, this is all I have. Not in such a great mood. Thanks to Acap Bestie for the cheering up too(:

Baby I am down down down down down

2010-02-08T10:44:00.000+08:00

I don't know how else to run away from misery. It seems to keep on running back to me. Currently, in school. I was supposed to do research for coursework but Mdm H took more than a period to lecture us so there's not really much time for us to do research. We're left with minutes and F&N lessons are done.

Today, I found out the most most most heart breaking thing and I don't know how I am supposed to react but I know I am feeling real down with myself.

Cousins have tried their best to console me but I don't think I deserve any of these. I feel like a bastard and I regret everything I have done. It's so hard for me to move on yet so easy for him to move on. I wonder how most guys move on so fast. But whatever, I'm happy as long as he's happy(: Thanks to the two cousins, anyway.

How else can I change his mindset? ): Ahhh. Fuck. I think I still love him.

Oh and yesterday, ______ asked me to be his girlfriend. But I didn't answer. And now everytime I look at him, I feel so awkward. I find myself dragging myself to school nowadays.

LUCKY I’M IN LOVE

2010-01-31T14:05:00.000+08:00

On Monday morning, there’ll be a ‘meet up’. A love ‘meet up’. But not a date. We’ve been indirectly contacting for close to 1 month and like finally, he confessed. Y’know, I am very lucky to have or get the guys I like. But at the same time, I feel sad. I don’t understand the term commitment anymore. I really want it back. And hopefully, this would make me commit.

I don’t blame anyone for this. The commitment. It’s my fault I fell too hard for guy A and then dropped too quickly for guy B. And in a nick of time, we were already in a relationship. It’s like, we barely contacted and then we started being serious.

So, it was really weird at first. With our history known. Still, he likes me for who I am. Some people already know about this. And I seriously wanna keep this down low. So to the persons who knows about this: please please please keep this to yourselves. It was funny though. The way he confessed. Haha. Cute.

SW practice was fine. We finished the first routine of all 9 wajib basics. And we’re halfway done to the 2^nd routine. Next week’s schedule has already been planned and totally tight. Dead busy. I have nothing else to say. Oh yes! I cried yesterday. (: Shan’t remind myself about it again. Or I’ll break down – again.

It's always this late, right?

2010-01-27T00:15:00.004+08:00

I'm glad that Shafiqa babygirl has recovered from her sad feeling. Right? I'm happy for you baby. Today's task are:

i. English Assignment (barely completed)

ii. TA and Introduction (COMPLETED)

School's getting tougher nowadays. I am so stressed and fucked up. With CCA and ASP going on, it's like we always reach home around 5 to 6 along with our tons of homeworks expected to be submitted the following day. Yes, we need naps and all. So that's what most of us babygirls do, go home, refresh and take a nap. And at around 8, we start doing our drills. And that's so tiring. Really.

Currently chatting with Mr. Spaghetti Boy and Shafiqa. Atiqa just left because she was tired. Tomorrow, we're gonna start the day with a spot check. Hopefully, not a thorough one. See, unlucky things are starting to come our way. Babygirls, it's time to deal with these challenges together yeah?

I found today's bio lesson fun. Not because of the video but because I felt a sense of achievement and pride when I knew how to answered my test questions. I felt so clever. Haha! Okay, right after the test, we begin a new chapter. Reproduction in Female. And so, Ms Maybelline Tan showed us a video on how a zygote is formed and all. And there's this part where the video showed us the woman's breast developing during pregnancy. And there's this sex scene which Ms Tan skipped a little. The guys obviously got excited. Haha. But the girls felt so, showcased. Haha! Okay, enough about sex and boobs and ladies.

I am now chatting with Shafiqa, Ayie and Adi. Mr. Spaghetti Boy went missing. Oh maan, tomorrow I'm not gonna be alive. ); Shaffy knows why.

School sucks today

2010-01-26T08:48:00.003+08:00

Ok people. Today Atiqa, Shafiqa and I telah ditiup oleh angin sial. Early in the morning after the national anthem, Atiqa was caught for her anklet and I was caught for my hair and then we were caught for our skirts. SHORT? Fcuk, are you blind or what!? Then, some oldies, you know, likes to get themselves involved. So they gave us a lecture on how to be good girls. With hair all tied neatly, pinned up and wear long skirts. So we tied our hair back and she asked me to comb my newly permed hair. How can I? Then, tak pasal2 rambut rosak -.- Then, we we lectured about why we must dress neatly because there is no one to attract here in school. It's a school, not a fashion show! So, one by one, we got pissed off.

Obviously, we totally lost the mood for school today. Well, I know my skirt ain't short! And now, instead of doing our courseworks, we decided not to pay attention and be rebellious. Ahh fcuk uh, totally lost my mood sia. So bloggy, count yourself lucky. (:

I am having an upset tummy and I am sooooo not looking forward to Malay class. You know, I know why. Okla, the teacher seems to be nagging more the more we neglect her. So to ask her to zip it, I'll do my work. A little, at least. Hehe.

And teacher, quit comparing you _____!

Again and again

2010-01-25T21:11:00.004+08:00

Well, it is just a temporary bliss. I messed up everything. Today is upsetting. I am so stressed and so depressed. Tasks for today are to complete these few things:

i. English assignment [i left it in the English file!]

ii. Introduction & check TA again [doing]

iii. Revise Biology for tomorrow's test [completed]

Many things are like running in my mind now. I can't keep my focus on these tasks. I need something to help me forget! But how?

Even after laughing my ass off with the babygirls while eating KFC just now, I still feel so down. Very down. And it seems like, the more I try to forget or ignore things or just put everything aside for now, at least, the more I become down and that's not healthy Illa. So not healthy.

I'm still sneezing. Not enough sleep perhaps? 2 hours of sleep yesterday and with Introduction to finish, obviously I can only sleep in the wee hours. Ergh. So fucked up sia. So not me.

[Girls, I hope you guys understand why I didn't upload the pictures today. I am very very busy with school stuffs. Just like you guys. Tomorrow? (:]

Shafiqa, you know that guys come and go. Like assholes. And you cannot be constantly fooled by them. You must show them you are strong and you can live without them. I know it's hard baby but we've got your back. All you need to do is just reach out a hand and we'll be there for you. I love you very much babygirl. Takecare of yourself.

I AM STILL AWAKE.

2010-01-25T14:20:00.000+08:00

On the 23^rd of January, my heart felt a little at ease as some of my feelings towards him have been revealed and so was his. We indirectly said ‘I love you’ and at that moment I couldn’t stop myself to keep smiling like a moron. Matter fact, I’m still smiling now. He’s so sweet.

You may be wondering, how the hell I know he was saying ‘I love you’ to me and how the hell he knows I was saying ‘I love you’ to him? Easy. He started off by saying he loves yoghurt. And I already knew what he was tryna’ say. Yoghurt means you. But not to spoil the surprise or whatever you call it, I replied that I loved Ben & Jerry’s ice cream. And in a nick of time, he replied, “I love yo*!!” and duh, I knew it already. So, to make me sound slow and bimbo-tic, I asked what ‘yo*’ was.

Him: Nothing. :D
Illa: Okay ): You don’t want to tell me never mind.
Him: Yo*?
Illa: WHAT’S THAT? Tell me. My battery’s dying on me real soon.
Him: Haha. Uehem.

*and duh, I know already but I acted as if I don’t know and then I ‘gave up’ and said that my battery was left with 3% and it was! So...*

Me: It’s okay if you don’t wanna tell. My phone’s dying any minute now. Bye.
Him: Bye? Only?
Me: I*Y. (: bye.
Him: How do I contact you then? I*YT.
Me: I’ll text you if I already can(:

And since then, I can’t stop grinning. But the ‘*’ can mean anything. It can mean I ‘hate’ you or I ‘love’ you or I ‘miss’ you and many more. But anything close to hate was definitely not in the list. Hopefully. Hehe. I hope like what I ever said last year, this is not just a temporary bliss.

More Pichas

2010-01-23T02:23:00.004+08:00

sexy model

cute model

jambu minah

happy family

funny people

candid baby

fendy was pretending-.-

speechless. hahah!

Fallin for you

2010-01-23T01:43:00.003+08:00

Ohmygod. I can't hide this any longer. Somehow the emotions keep spinning out and I can't help myself but to melt and melt and melt every time I see him. Shucks. I feel so weak in the knees when he comes around and the best part is, he seems to know what I feel. As in, when I'm sad, he makes me smile. But not smile as in, I'm sad and when he comes around, I smile. It's like, I'm sad and he asked me why and he starts a conversation and that's when I'd smile.

Today, I was down. Real down. 2 reasons; heavy headache and him. I was like expecting him to know and that he'll talk to me somehow and I assumed he won't. But during break time, he texted me and I was so happy. Then I thought he didn't reply but when I went to the toilet, he texted me again. And this time, I was sooooo happy. Again. Then something even sweeter happened and I was even more happier and awww.. isn't he sweet? ^.^

See see. Omg, this has to stop. (I'm still smiling to myself) And Affendy almost found out bout him! Because my handphone wallpaper is currently, mine and his picture(: That Affendy was so close to finding out sia. Naseb kau tak tau kalau tak, mati aku.

GO READ THE LYRICS TO FALLIN FOR YOU BY COLBIE CAILLAT AND THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I'M FEELING NOW(:

Tonight will be the night

2010-01-22T00:02:00.005+08:00

Today, I realised that I have the most best of friends. And I am very thankful for that. My coughs are getting worser and my flu, you know how much I hate getting flu. Kay, hopefully tomorrow during Malay, we are gonna do the presentation. Like seriously, this is the first time I really want my group's presentation to be first.(:

Okay, so today, some chinese people and the malay people in class stayed back for spruce up. I admit, we left the class filthy because we were too tired to clean the class. And so, we decorated the class and all.

Did I forget to mention, I kinda love today alot. Because something happened. Yeah yeah yeah! (: Ok then, now.. let the pictures do the talking. (Pictures of me, real ugly because hello! i was sick and therefore too lazy to get pretty)

Ya Rabbi, decent nye muke suami aku!

His ring + my hairband = PERFECT COUPLE UH! haha. kidding.

Minah kecohsss.

I was supposed to take this with my ex husband but nazrah came in. Nevermind(:

I know, shaf pretty right!

Kay, ni cute.

This is somehow sweet, really.

YAY! The now, scandals and used to be married(:

The hug was nice but wrong timing laa, Fad! You ni. HAHAH!

During PE, im so ooglay.

ATIQA LAWAAA!

flash -.-

I LIKKEEE~

HEHE.

I CAN'T WAIT FOR TOMORROW'S PRESENTATION!!!! (:

It's fatiguing~

2010-01-16T02:49:00.003+08:00

It's been decades since I had this much fun with my babygirls. Currently, chatting on MSN with Atiqa and Shafiqa. As well as Abang. We had our laughs and we had tears rolling down our cheeks. Abang is another story. So, leave him out first.

Initially, our plan yesterday (according to time), was to have lunch at KFC and then go teach Atiqa the steps for Joget Berhibur since she wasn't around on that day. Okay so the moment we finished eating was already 1hr plus. Then, we got to know Shafiqa was nearby so we asked her to join in and we ended up staying there till 4pm. School ended at 12.45. So do your Maths people!

After lunching, we felt the need to go home straight. Hehe. So Fateha, Atiqa, Shafiqa, Nazrah and I dispersed. Okay no, only Fateha - since she was going the other way. We had so much fun laughing our asses off. Re-enacting the lame moments we had during out junior days. Then suddenly, Shafiqa and I didn't want to go home because seriously, there's nothing at home but to drool. So we sat at the bus stop for 10 minutes and started talking and laughing again until we reached a point where Atiqa and Nazrah almost peed in their pants. By the time Shafiqa already went home and Atiqa reached the opposite bus stop, Nazrah's and I took bus 28 and stopped opposite our flats. And then, dispersed. Atiqa and I did the slap slap snap kiss handshake like many times and we received many weird stares but who cares?

Okay so, at home did the usual stuffs. Took a nap, ate dinner, chat online. Mr. Bestie wasn't online): And Mr. Ex-Husband and I talked about the reason why I asked for a divorce and we ended up saying stupid stuffs. Haha. Then, invited Shafiqa to mine & Atiqa's convo and that's where all the fun begin. Then we were having loads of excitement when surely something would break it down. So each of us felt sad about our respective somethings and shared it among us. But because we didn't want to ruin the day of excitement, we put it aside and restart everything and damn, it was the best conversation I have ever had!

I don't know what's up with me but I seem to develop this unusual character inside of me. I'm starting to have unpredictable moodswings. Even I can't predict my mood until I felt it. At one moment, I'd laugh the loudest, cry tears of joy the hardest, sing the most and all. Then suddenly, start to scream at people, get angry, and all the mean stuffs.

Okay, despite the fact that I have a tight schedule tomorrow, I'm sill not sleeping. I guess I should end it right here or it will never come to an end. But a last note to the two cheerios who made my day and night today:

Shafiqa, even though you were sick, you still bothered to meet us up. And despite your love life problems, you still put a a smile for us. Babygirl, I know you're strong and I know you won't let anything bring you down. So let's stay cheerful like how we are today and you know we'll always be there for you. I know you feel sad, I'd be in the same boat as you are in when I face this kind of situations. But let's not allow the negative energy get in our way. Let's all be positive and happy. Okay? Love ya!

NurulAtiqa, yo whassup? Haha. My hump my hump my hump my hump. My boob my boob my boob. Your boob, I slap I slap. Check it out! Haha. Today was the most humorous day I have ever had in my entire life. The laughing made it hard for me to breathe, but in a good way. Even though our legs were aching, we still played catching like lil kiddos and thanks for being my laughig partner today. I still don't know what got me so high. Haha. Kita friend friend awak lah kay. Haha. Bohsia tol. Kecoh uh luu minah. Nanti aku smackdown kang. Haha. *winkwink* and babygirl, same goes to you. Guys like that ain't worth your time that's taking. Slap slap snap kiss. Love ya!

I'll post the pictures in multiply soon. Xoxo.

Vierra

2010-01-15T23:31:00.002+08:00

So currently, I'm texting Mr. Bestie (Acap) and Mr. Spaghetti Boy (Irfan). Chatting with Mr. Birthday Boy (Fadick), Mr. Late Night Friend (Hazir), Ms. Twinnie (Shaffy), Ms. Princess (Iqa), Mr. Mario (Sya) and Ms. Let's-Dance-The-Wrong-Steps-Together-And-Get-Scolded-Together (Ulfah). Listening to Vierra's songs. And watching television. So it's like, I'm multi-tasking.

I feel like a loner okay. I'm like totally busy with my own stuffs now. Haha. I'll upload the pictures of me and my new hair soon okay? Promise. And the unfortunate, they seem to love me so much. I was really excited for tomorrow's dance practice when suddenly I have to leave early to attend the Anita Sarawak Concert to help my Aunt usher the guests. Ok lah, quite honored cause I got the backstage pass. But I want to go for the dance and meet Izzathy! Which happens to be my junior. Hehe. Cool eh, da ade species sendiri pat school(:

Okaylah, I think that's all I want to say. I have nothing to say like seriously. Totall speechless. But to my beloved ex-husband who I only married for 2 years, Muhammad Fadhli, Happy Birthday and may you have the best birthday ever. Love love love ya! :D

I've got a new husband! .

2010-01-13T18:44:00.002+08:00

I'm totally enjoying my solitude as you can see. Hehe. No boys baby! Yessah. At last. All time to me, myself and I. I just got back from malay dance. Yes, malay dance. Hehe. And to all the Sec Ones who came for the attachment earlier on, hopefully you had fun and also put us as priority in that CCA list. Cause we seniors promise to give you the best(:

Izzathy, Liyana and Liya, please please please join Malay Dance kay. Especially Izzathy. I know you know why. Haha.

Okay, guess what? I forgot to go to the Needlework Room to take my Task Analysis just now. I am dead duck! Ahhhh, fuck. Nevermind, I'll re-do everything and that's exactly what I've been doing since I came back from school. Hehe. Good girl much?

I've got nothing much to say today. I think I'm going to start to tweet again. Baby Asyraf is hugging my leg -.- I haven't ate today and for dinner, I'm waiting for Big Sissy to come back then we eat together. Oh and btw, I permed my hair(:

TATA.

If it's loving that you want

2010-01-10T01:56:00.002+08:00

Me thinks me in love.. not.

I suddenly miss the feeling to be loved and to love someone. To know a total stranger which then turns out to be someone you're interested in. Someone your type. Someone who understands you and most of all, someone who loves you for who you are. Someone not so goody too shoes but at the same time not to wild. Anyone wants to be my part time boyfriend? Haha. NO, never mind. Kidding. Haha.

And apparently, someone left me standing by the side of a deserted road. I don't even know if I have a boyfriend now! Haha. But really, even if he is, I think it's better we call it off. There's seriously nothing between us! That was all.. I don't know what to say. I don't know what's up with me these days.

But like I said, this year is going to be an important year as I will be sitting for my GCE N Levels, so I will not let anything distract me form my studies. Let's just mingle around for now. Finding a boyfriend can happen anytime after the N Levels are done. Right?

Furthermore, I want a boyfriend. But between you & I, if commitment is what you're looking for in a girl, stay away from me. Unless you're like so in love with me that you want to prove you can change me somehow. But this no-commitment Illa realized that she wasn't really committed to every single boyfriend she has starting from Akhbar because she suddenly doesn't feel the need to commit anymore after whatever that happened to her because when she loves someone whole-heartedly, that guy would in the end leave her by the trash. And to be honest, I haven't had a boyfriend since August last year. So that makes Akhbar my last boyfriend. Illa's single! Not just single for weeks but months! Omg, what a news. Haha. But I'm happy with life. Like seriously(:

I'll update again if I feel bored. But if I don't, that means I'm either too busy chatting or on the phone with some guy(haha!) or textinging or sleeping or watching tv or eating(hehe!) or plainly just waiting for the light blue colour of the sky come tapping on my window.

Take a breath

2010-01-10T01:16:00.003+08:00

Babems, guess what was my schedule last Friday(according to time)? Remember I told you I was in the Indian Occupation thing and I slept at 4 in the morning? At last minute, I didn't attend school because I wanted to see my late niece corpse for the last time. I badly wanted to see her again. And you know, before we kebumikan, we must make sure we clean her well. So after cleaning her gently - she was really fragile that her hand can be folded into 4, I was asked to carry her to the death bed. And so, I did. I cried too. Here's the story:

Remember Abang A'an & Cik Mya? Cik Mya was in her 6th month of pregnancy and she went for screening. The doctor found no movements and concluded that the baby passed away. And he was right. The baby's umbilical cord was twisted that the baby couldn't receive oxygen and therefore passed away. It was such a tragic. Cik Mya, as a soon-to-be mother who was of course excited to have a baby, got really depressed and cried for days. The baby was really small. The size of your palm but a little longer by 10 cm. And her legs were as small as your pinkie finger. Before we see her for the last time, we took turn to kiss her little forehead. Although she wasn't fully develop, she was adorable. Talking about this now make me wanna cry again. Hope she's fine up there by the angels whose now taking care of her. And really, I love her. So much. Al-fatehah.

Amin.

Ok, pressing on. Yesterday(according to time), was the Secondary 1 Orientation and it was awesome! Purbanira Seni, I am back! Hehe. Okay, what else should I talk about? Oh yes, Shafiqa. She's really sad now. The thoughts of me not being by her side when she needs us makes me real guilty. Babe, I'm sorry. But I still love you and I'd do whatever it takes to make you happy. Cheer up. Guys like that ain't worth your tears.

Just minutes ago, the family suddenly craved for ice-cream. Luckily, 7-11 is just under the void deck so we bought different types of ice-creams and brought home and started feasting on eat. And I did some little paste-ons for the spruce up. I'm not done yet, though. I still got like, 20 more to go! Haha. Pathetic.

Oh! And not to forget, I was promoted to the next level in SW. Yes! I'm shocked it only took me half a year. Alhamdulillah. I hope I'm as good in my studies. Hehe.

Indian Occupation

2010-01-08T02:08:00.003+08:00

Just to let you guys know, I was just released from an internment. Nazrah & I were detained in the MSN to do our projects. How torturing. And Andrew was executed for being anti-Indian. And he'll face more when he meets the devil namely Siti and Syakilah in hell. Okay, I just finished my English Project and I swear we took more than 6 hours sticking out butts on the chair tryna' solve every fucking question. Now, we are like copying the scripts done by me, and fuck, my backbone's still aching from the trip to Temasek Poly. The bags were fucking heavy and we had to carry it around. Thank god we met Han Chong, or else we wouldn't even get a rest.

We took a Total Defence Picture and they printed it out for us each one. The picture had pretty people in it. Obviously. Haha. Nah, it's just a very sweet picture(:

Just now, I had to make a speech on what I would like to see myself achieving by the end of year 2010. And I guess it went pretty well. Alhamdulillah. Tomorrow, there'll be malay dance and fuck yeah! I lost 3kg :D Hehe.

We had some complications halfway but whatever. I don't blame anyone. It's neither of our faults. But to make it fair, at least apologize cause I remembered Atiqa saying sorry on our behalf. And it just wasn't fair to indirectly say that it was partly our fault when we started nothing. Neglecting you was the last thing we'd do. And you know we won't do that. Sometimes, I feel that you want everything to be the way you want it to be. Like you're right and you know everything. I don't have a problem with that but c'mon, this? It's way too childish. And it's even more childish to say it's not your fault but indirectly pointing fingers to us. Well, maybe you said we didn't notice us neglecting you but what if we said, you didn't notice you blaming us for this misunderstanding. Will you accept that fact? And what happened to the wise girl who once said, "you trust other's words more than your friends'?" And constantly picking on me, you gotta stop that. I have never had any hard feelings or feeling offended whenever your around. Quit thinking that way. You may have problems communicating with your family, but it's different with us. It's heartbreaking to know the truth about you and yes, it's also heartbreaking to hear negative things about oneself. But as friends, we're just saying. Maybe it's for your own good. Don't take too much to the heart.

I'm tired from the Indian Occupation. I'm waiting for Nazrah to finish copying the script and I can already go to bed. Good night.

So 2009;

2010-01-05T22:58:00.000+08:00

It’s been 5 good days since the new year and still I haven’t wished my invisible readers a happy new year. So here I am, using this opportunity to wish all of you a very belated happy new year(:

School has been fine. I can’t say I’m improving in my studies cause it’s just 2 freaking days since it started. Haha. So far, I didn’t drool and everything was handed in on time. No invalid reasons. Heh. This year mau relek uh eh. Skirt pendek smer da tak main wei. Haha.

Apart from knowing that my ‘brother’ is going to be sentenced to jail for I don’t know how many years, I was fucking sad to see myself flop like one sack of fucking dunk in my Malay. I dropped to Normal Academic Malay. And in a nick of time, my hopes to qualifying for my GCE O Levels were utterly crashed. My Malay was the only hope. And that hope has already died down. Now, it’s just me and Maths Maths Maths.

I didn’t let the fact that I dropped to Normal Academic Malay ruin my year though. I forcefully let out a smile and well, it turns out pretty good. It doesn’t make any difference, does it? I’m still learning Malay, only thing I’m not taking my GCE O Level Malay this year. Somehow, other stuff got me tearing away. K no, just sad. Shan’t elaborate.

We headed to KFC (near Tampines Mall) for a second time lunch. Excluding me. I didn’t eat in school. I also didn’t eat at KFC. I just haven’t got the mood. Hmm… Okay suddenly, I forgot that I had to redeem my $200 cheque from the General Office and therefore, I had to go back to school. Everyone was busy eating. So at first, I had no company. So I made some calls and finally, Mr Spaghetti Boy was kind enough to accompany me. He’s still a pain in the ass, though.

Okay, went to school, took the cheque and when I was about to sign for evidence that I already redeemed my cheque, clever Sister called and goddamn it, the phone rang so loud that the principal asked whose phone was ringing. I quickly answered it and said wait. Tsk. Ok then, Mr Spaghetti Boy and I met Sister and her Baby Nashrun outside school and we walked to Tampine Mart for I don’t know what reason then finally felt the need to go back home. So, my Sister, being the hardworking one, decided to walk. And so, we walked.

Sister walked with her loverboy while I walk with Mr Pain in the Ass. Grr. I was tortured by him. Heh. He was so irritating that when he showed me his boxers, I said, “don’t make me give you a wedgie.” Ok, something like that. So he still did it and so, I’m a lady of my words. I pulled his boxers and guess what he did? He ‘strangled’ me. It was supposed to be pain at first but I laughed cause it’s ticklish. Then, I boxed his stomach. But I don’t think he felt anything. -.- Then he took my hand and gave it a twist, fuuuuuuuuuck. Oh yea, this is warrrr.

Okay then, somebody said that I looked sweet with somebody. What the hell. Hahaha. So not matching at all. I don’t even like him siaaa.

Okay speechless bye^^

Fuad Hakim

2009-12-30T23:34:00.002+08:00

Oh ya! I totally forgot Fuad's birthday until I read Iqa Babygirl's blog. Haha. Bad friend bad friend. Haha.

Okay okay.

Happy belated birthday Fuad Hakim!(:

Be happy happy happy!~

:DD

So just pull the trigger

2009-12-30T15:24:00.003+08:00

Halo sweet darlings. Here I am, at home rotting with three little kids, watching playhouse disney while my two other siblings are out for school. Except for sister, she's out with her baby nashrun after school.

The date last Monday was awesome! I had to call my little brother down to buy his school stuff last minute, though. He was kind enough to treat my brother and the best part was they clique-d real fast. And it was a pleasant sight.

Yaat might come down today to accompany me. I feel bad. Eventho he knows that we got nothing going on, he still insisted on contacting me. And Yaat's like my best senior's ex boyfriend's friend. And he's still in my school next year, I think. Then, if I have to ditch him, it'll be totally wrong. I mean, I'll be the bad one here. Ohmygod, help me out. I'm like so caught in between. Ayit's gonna give me a surprise tomorrow - again - and I'm totally nervous. While Yaat's sort of hoping for me. I mean, I can just give him a cold shoulder but damn it, he already went official to his friends. Which happens to be my senior's brother who will still be in my school next year. Both guys are too nice to be ditched. That's the problem. Urgh.

Okay, I'm like so excited for next year. Hehe. Especially knowing that Kak Tini called me down to perform with my beloved Purbanira Seni. Just that I'm now confused. How can I perform without being an official malay dancer in East Spring? I mean, I quit, didn't I? Won't people like talk about me if I were to perform? Kak J, how?

Sister got to use the iPhone. Ahh! Bullshit. I want it so badly yet she gets it. So heartbreaking. But nevermind, I still love my sister. Just that I hate her for getting the iPhone. What else should I talk about?

Yes, another reason why I am so caught in between is because I am left with 7 hours and 47 minutes to getting myself a boyfriend. And it's either I choose one of them or ditch both. And one has gone official to the family while the other one has gone official to the friends. So I'll be the bastard if I do that. And who wants to be the bastard?

goodness.

2009-12-27T00:49:00.000+08:00

Hello beautiful souls. Today, was nothing! Minus the Takashimaya part, it was seriously nothing! Mother got up late and she was too ego to accept the fact that she woke up late that she started nagging at us for being slow -.- seriously, wth. And there’s something else that happened but I shan’t elaborate further.

You know, I hate hypocrites. And I am proud to announce that I am certainly not one of them. Prove is, I voice out what I feel unlike some people who pretends to be nice in front of you but be all bitch behind your back. Fuck, quit it man. Don’t call yourself fucking holy if you can’t even keep your shithole shut. And one more thing, fuck dickheads! After all those times, moments or whatever you call it, I’m lucky I didn’t fall too hard for it. You’re just another sweet talker mo-fucker. And, good luck girl. I hope you won’t get hurt badly like how I got it. Yeah, you got me once. But you can fool me no more.

Kay, I should stop now.

Yay! I’ve been single for like 5-6 months plus. Yes, many dates but many heart breaks. Aw, never mind. I don’t mind going through a moment’s pain for a lifetime pleasure (: Okay, next date: Monday, 28 December. Catching Alvin and the Chipmunks 2 with my date. *kening up up*

Oh yes, did I mention that if by the end of the year I don’t have a boyfriend, I’m gonna mingle till my GCE N Levels are done. HOMAGAAA. I loveeeee ^.^

P.S: I can’t wait to have my moment of carrying my own newborn baby boy and crying tears of joy on my hospital bed and hearing him call me mummy as he grows up. KIWAK, cute siak. Then, I’ll have my baby girl (: Kay, cam paham eh ni minah. Matae pon blm ade. Tsk tsk. GATAL. Salah, miang. Hehe. Mampos, panjang nye PS aku. Haha. Kay tata.

P.P.S: Happy Birthday Dearest Wan & Happy Birthday Aziz (:

weeky weeky

2009-12-22T12:26:00.004+08:00

YEZZAH! I subscribed to Nuffnang. It's kindda cool ^.^ hehe.

Okay, for the past hours, I've been listening to Kardinal Offishall songs. He's so hunky-dory man. I'm like in love with his 2 hits: Numba 1 featuring Keri Hilson and also Nina. It's like my mind was so free when I listened to it.

And I just watched Hunchback of Notre Dame. It's fucking awesome. My first time watching that story, like seriously. At first, I thought it was like gonna bore me or something. But, I watched it without missing a second of it! And the songs sang are melodious.

I am so filled with envy. Xia Xue, Singapore's most famous blogger, was proposed in the most romantic way. They met thru the net. He stumbled upon her blog while googling for something. Then, he suddenly felt so affected when he see her virtually that he sacrificed his money just to go meet her here. Aww. Eventho they were utterly poor at that moment, they went back and forth. States to Singapore, Singapore to States for three goddamn years. And now, he's living with her in Singapore. And they're like finally engaged. But seriously, you should see how he proposed. Fuck, I'm jealous. Any guy who is willing to do that for me? Heh.

Mat rep Singapore kental uh, ni smer confirm tkle capai nyee. Sweet but not romantic. Haha. Kerek nye. Their love story was better than the hollywood movies man. Fairytale, it exists!~

Okay, today, I'm planning to go to the movies with dearest siblings, later in the afternoon. And maybe at night going for buffet so I can't make it to the chalet today. Sorry dudes & dudettes. You know I still love you guys(:

Vino G. Bastian. Melts!

2009-12-16T05:23:00.004+08:00

DON'T THINK I'M ASLEEP. I'M NOT.

But I believe I'm gonna be drooling off in half an hour's time? That has been my recent sleeping schedule. Off to sleep at 6am. Or worse, plus plus.

I feel like I've got a lot to say today. Let's just hope you guys would read it till the end. If not, I'd feel so.. stupid. All the effort put in to share my thoughts and feelings. Going down, down, down, down, down.

I actually created a Tagged account out of boredom. Great. Now whose gonna manage that? Too many accounts, too much pressure~ K, crap. I know.

Now, there's no more sister & I sleeping only at 6 am in the morning. She's busy with stuffs. And she's only not busy when it's not about him. So she'll get sleepy when it's not about him. And me, I'm the sleeping beauty. What do you expect? But these few days, I don't rest. Not even a blink of an eye. I mean, nap. Yes, not even one. I guess my boss is giving me a break from my super easy job as a sleeping beauty. -.-

Today, I hereby claim that I don't like anybody (: Okay, my English suck.

I watched Radit Love Jani for 2 times. And it was fucking awesome! Prove is, I cried each time I watched it. And I don't cry as in "aww" cry. I cry as in "no, don't leave me!" cry. 2 times! My grandpap said, "This means that if you watch it 3 times, you'll cry for 3 times. If you watch it 10 times, you'll cry for 10 times. Yeah?" And I giggled. As for my dad, he said, "cry bodoh!" Hehe. People who watch the story should know why my dad called me bodoh. Heh. My mum slept halfway because she thought it was boring. She's not fun to be with anymore. I don't like the way she is now. I want my old mummy back! Boohoo. Shuttup.

I can't believe I'm saying this but I kinda miss school. Students in the school, I mean. No. More to the Normal Academics. I'm closer to them. So yeah. Heh. No hard feelings. Anyhoos, good luck to the GCE N Level Students!~

Holiday's getting overly boring. And I have been bumping on to mat reps and hook-ups ain't exciting anymore. If you get what I mean. Boys are boys. Girls are girls. One way or another, when they get bored of each other, they'd start ditching. And the best part, he'd go.. "Oh, she's a bitch." Or maybe she'd go, "That sweet talker mother fucker? Get a life." It's always the same darn thing. And now, I'm getting tired of it. It's boring me, people! But I gotta admit, its real hard staying single after being attached like the whole time or being single but unavailable (as in, already dating) and now, I'm like totally single. No boys. I'd tend to go, "Ugh! I need a boyfriend. Please!" Or maybe, "God, he's sweet. How I wish I could have him." How weird.

Oh wells, life's a climb. But the view's great. I'm loving the feeling of being single. You get to go wherever you like without thinking of him, without informing them where you are, who your with, what time will you be calling, what time will you be back and such. No interruptions! Hee.

Naughty G really make me wide awake. It works! I was just curious. How it tasted like and since it contains caffeine, I wanted to see if it works on me! The sleeping beauty. But I didn't drink it today. I wonder why I'm still wide awake. No coffees. Coffees and I, not in good terms. We don't work well together. So, definitely not coffees.

I wanted to continue. But really, there won't be a stop. So I guess I'll stop now. Before I change my mind. I need to sleep, I'm a girl. It's not good to stay awake in the wee mornings and snoring like a pig in the late afternoons. So, yeah ~

PS: I'm missing the boys. *winks!*

Time Check: 6:04 AM.

Geez. I'm already late for my appointment!

Toodles baby angels! Sleeping time (:

Z all the waaaaay (:

2009-12-09T16:02:00.002+08:00

Yay! Today I woke up with another nightmare. So niiiicccceee -.-

It's so scary! And today, I have nothing much to say. I miss Acap Baby Boy alot. He's getting cuter now. He came over with his 2 sisters yesterday. Ahhhh, xoxo-ed. And today, they'll be coming over again! I'm waiting. Where are you, sweety pies?

I know why!

2009-12-08T12:31:00.003+08:00

Hello pretty boys and girls. Today, my sister, Inna Syakinah, is officially 17. ONLY. Haha. So, let me start of this post by giving my sister a birthday wish.

Dear Kakak,

It has been nice knowing you and having you as a

big sister. Eventho sometimes your such a pain in

the ass. Hahahaha. We should keep this momentum

running, like Ibu said. Sharing the same hobbies and all.

We even have the same taste! How cool is that man?!

And I hope to see you succeed in life and make our

family proud one day. I'm sorry if I have been such a

bitch towards you. Yeah, I PMS like a bitch now.

I just wanna let you know, no matter how much I

said I wanted a better sister than you are, I still

want you to be my one & only sister because you are

the only one who understand me like no other.

Happy Birthday, Inna Syakinah!

May all your dreams come true (:

XOXO.

Guess what? My grandparents keep fighting nowadays. Haiss. Nenek pon satu. Perah minyak je. Atok nak manja-manja pon tkle. Kesian atok. Really, seeing my grandfather sad everyday kills me. Don't get me wrong, I love my grandmother. But she's living like the rich while my grandfather's being ordered around. She doesn't realise that. My grandfather once said to me, "I'll do whatever it takes as long as it makes your grandmother happy." And yes, he have been doing that since the first time they married each other. I really wish I could help my grandfather. In anyways, as long as his happy. Really. He's the best grandfather I have ever had. I already lost one. I don't wanna lose another. Him working at an old age is not a wise idea. Seriously, I wish I can voice out.

Okay so! Yesterday, I forgot to mention in my post that after my Sunday's work, I cabbed to Bedok to karaoke with my parent's best buds. It turned out great! I'm so looking forward to another event. Now what I badly want is..

Z!(:

Atycar Babygirl knows who ^.^

When Love Takes Over, Yeah! You know You Can't Deny.

2009-12-07T14:29:00.004+08:00

Sorry for not updating. It's been 2 tiring days. Haha. My body's aching like nobody's business. But still, thanks to Atycar Babygirl, Ben and Zaidi for helping me out whenever I needed help. Haha. Oh yes, there's even this cute boy, as in my age kindda cute boy, who helped me out. He's so nice. He's not in the team. He's just someone invited to the event.

My flu's back! Damn.

Yesterday, I melted like alot of times. Not because of that cute guy. But because of this someone. Ahhhh. Hero aku dohhhh. Hehe. Atycar and I even begged for a break just because we wanted to rest and tell her who I liked. Then we were like, "If only Shaffy was here. Ahhh! I can already imagine how she'd react." But seriously, he's so sweet. And then we ended up playing catching with this toddler. -.- Then, everytime Atycar and I were about to do something stupid, he comes around. Paisey kejap. But terbiase along the way. Hehe.

Kak Wati's got a peminat (: Yeahhh. And I'm starting to get the hang of it.

After which, I went to cash studio. Had fun karaoke-ing. And I forgot what time we reached home. All I know is that I blacked out right after I see the bed. Haha! My mom already said I can sleep all day. Body ache whaaaaaaaaaaat. Still aching y'know. Hmm.

EH GUESS WHAT? I'm thinner now. Wow. I actually fit my super tight shorts. Now it's super loose. YESSAH! Illa's thin baby. Hehe. Btw, I'm lucky just to linger in your eyes. (:

First day; sakit perot baaaaaaaaabe.

2009-12-06T01:46:00.003+08:00

Hello owl readers. Guess what? I should be sleeping by now cause I got work tomorrow. And I'm not. Why? I just feel guilty not updating my blog. Heh.

Yesterday(Saturday, according to time), was super fun working with Atycar Babygirl and friends. Bubbly ones. Hehe. Although it's kindda tiring, we managed to entertain ourselves. Yessah! And some lazybums couldn't stop sitting down. Definitely not the abang-abang, not the kakak-kakak.

Oh yes, today Atycar Babygirl and I made friends with some lelaki gatal. Haha! No lah. They were the cheeky ones. Not us. At first this guy's father called me over and said if I want his son, then point to his son. Wah, manyak cantik. Haha. Then I said, "huh?" Then he keep on repeating until he gave up and said, "Ah, where should I get more rice?" Then I showed him.

Few minutes later, his son called me over and said, "What's up with the bored face?" Then I shrugged. And he asked for my name and all. He is super cheeky man. I swear. Everytime he see me nearby he'd shout my name. Wtf? Tak pasal2 mak dher fikir kite suke each other. Haha! Ask for my status some more. After how many times of not entertaining his calls, he called me over again, "Illa, kawan Illa yang tu name sape? Umor?" He asked for Atycar Babygirl's name and age. Then he did the same to Atycar. Haha! Padan muka!

Btw, there's this super freaking hot guy during the wedding. I spotted him first! Then I made the "aww" face to Atycar. She didn't get it until she saw him in front of her face and she looked at me and we smiled cheekily. Kiwaaaakkk, sumpah hot sia. Sekali pandang cair semacam man.

Okay moving on. Mostly, nothing much happened. Only the guys uh. Haha. Oh yaaaa, they, as in our friends, call me Jambu A and Atycar Babygirl Jambu B. We the cute people eh? Haha. Awww, they say we look sweet. Kembang dooohhhhh.

And I got lectured by one of the guy who sent me home ): Boohoo. Haha. But he's real nice. Unfortunately, we're not posted to the same place tomorrow. His going Siglap. Nampaknye kite kene balik sorg laaa nii ehh? Hahaha.

Woah! Look at the time, got to go.

XOXO.

Like no other

2009-12-04T06:34:00.003+08:00

Yay! Everybody guess what? I woke up early again. 6 AM~

Ugh. Why do I keep waking up early? BUT today, I didn't get any nightmares. Sweet. I'm starting to love my new home. The colour is much nicer now. Lime green isn't a wise option for a wall. Choose la pink ke, maroon ke, brown ke. Kan lawa sikit. I love green but the green is too green. If you know what I mean. Sakit mata memandang. Haha.

Okay, so today's plan is to find out if Iqa Babygirl already got her white top. If she have, she would have to follow me for a short shopping trip for a white top today. If she doesn't have one, tkya sua. Hahaha. Black jeans? Hmm.. Cane tuu. Black tkde, dark blue ade uh. Hehe. Susah uh. Kan senang pki baju sendiri. Haha. Byk complain eh. Tsk tsk. Baaaad Illa.

And today, one of the beds will come. Let's just hope it's my bed. At last a bed! Haha.

Oh yes, the house is nicely painted. Thanks to all the dudes. And guess what? Yesterday, my father brought along his other friend, who I have never seen before, to help out. He's an Indian, but looks Turkish if you just take a glance. But somehow I already knew he was an Indian. Haha. Yea, he's got a fair skin tone. And he is really quiet. We only figured out he was not and Indian! Hindustani laa dey! Haha. My grandma watched too much Hindustan movies that when she heard this guy talked to his friend on the phone, she spoke to him in his language. She knew some because my Grandpa ever worked at Madras as a Singapore embassador, right? Cute semacam siak.

And my mom talked to this guy as if he was 4, man. The thing is, he's really weird. People at Madras, according to my grandmother doesn't like spicy stuffs but sweet stuffs. But he's the otherwise. He doesn't even eat curry! Haha. I think he's a vegetarian. He ate only fried ladyfingers and some other vegetables. Tapi, belacan dher.. Kusmangat. Haha!

The dudes came to paint the walls willingly. I mean, they weren't paid for doing it. My dad was actually supposed to because it was during their work time. But they were friends and my father actually didn't cut their pay for their real work so they did it sincerely. It's good enough you know! Haha. Fortunately, my family "fell in love" with that Hindustani guy. His life story was real sad. No joke. He was sent to Singapore, only to find out his agent cheated him. She ran away with his $7000 and he was left jobless in Singapore for 90 days. At first, my father hesitated to hire him. But really, he was one guy who deserved life man. He really worked his ass off man even after knowing that he wasn't paid to paint the walls. So my father's friends all left and we asked him to stay back. Yeah, we said we liked him and he was paid! Kesiankan deyni. Sayu hati dengar cerita dher.

Lagipon dher tk mcm bangla lain. Dher tk gelap langsung, dher tk gatal langsung and best part, dher tak bau mama langsung! Hahahaha!

ass

2009-12-03T17:08:00.003+08:00

Hey hey. Currently, I'm resting. Have been helping the dudes paint the walls since just now. Auntie Lynn came just a few minutes ago and now, gossiping with mom. As usual.

I'm starting my PMS again. AH! Btw, his dad nagged at me. Pity him though. I mean, is he mad or whaat? I would ask my son to befriend the whole world if possible. Sister is prolly on the way back home by now. Side by side with her babylove. I'm so lazy to talk about couples but today I actually match-maked 2 couples. Not really 2. Only one, dah jadi.

Today, eating curry fish and papdom for dinner! Yum, become indian for a day laaaaa deyyy~

Fuck, I'm totally in no mood. Damn it damn it damn it. I feel like crying man. I just don't know why. I feel so.. PHICAT. My sister's ECAT. And Matiin's MECAT.

haha

2009-12-03T08:52:00.001+08:00

RINDU LAH PULAK !

uh yeah

2009-12-03T07:02:00.002+08:00

A very good morning to all of you readers.

I have officially shifted! Yessah. Eh, come to think of it, no. I'm gonna move again in end of May next year. After it is renovated. I swear, I can't wait. I can't wait to move again! Hehe.

I have been feeling very down with myself. I just don't know why. But guess what? When it comes to laughing, I can't stop. I'd be the loudest amongst all. But when all the laughters are over, I'd feel very down. So emo, erk.

Today, I woke up early. Nope, no alarms. And I woke up at 5 in the morning! Wow. So tossed and turned several times and no, I can't take this anymore. Went to the toilet, grannies already awake. Washed my face. Brushed my teeth. Laptop! Hehe. Yes, I have yet to take my shower. Shhh.

Oh, not forgetting about something. Today, my beloved uncles (father's friends) are coming over to paint the walls. You should see them, they are freaking funny. Why? They always know how to entertain themselves when boredom strikes. And, yes. They usually drink while having fun but they can do without it. I just know because I have been with them since young, seriously. Member bapak aku, aku tau uh! Heh.

But sometimes, it's really awkward to have fathers being friends with people whose ages are between 19 and 30+. Whatever, I'm so used to it. Talking about that reminds me of the two uncle rascals; Hafis and Ismail. Waaaaaaahhhh!~ Lame tak jumpe siaa. Rinduuuuuu. How old are they eh? 24 this year or next year? They're like super kecoh. I love them truckloads sia.

Why the hell am I talking about my father's friends? Stupid.

Yesssssaaaaahhhh! At last, after all those stupid, useless days.. Saturday will be working somewhere. I just hope I'm posted to the same place as Atiqa Babygirl. Really.

OH AND BABYGIRLS! ALL OF THEM.. I MISS YOU! boohoo.

so sad lorr

2009-12-01T22:58:00.003+08:00

This is a post for, Nur Afiqah Adaha ♥

I am sorry if you think I'm like stealing him away from you. But let's not jump to conclusion. Ari and I are just "brothers and sisters". In fact, we were talking about how much we missed you and all. We didn't have feelings for each other. Not even a bit. Kita contact gitu-gitu je sey Kak Fee. Trust me. I'd never talk to him anymore if it's a must. But just to let you know, I was shocked to know that you said, "Last long" to him. I mean, c'mon uh, I'd never steal your ex. You know that. What made you think I would do that kind of thing? Hmm..

Pick up my call please. Let me explain.

---------------------------------------------------------

Yeah so, today was nothing but mundane. I'm sick like hell. I mean, not so sick but my flu is annoying me to the core. Ahh! My life is a total mess now. TOTAL MESS. I've been wanting to let this feeling out but something's stopping me.

He's keeps calling, I keep ignoring. Then soon, I'd get fucked up with myself. Then he calls again, but I reject. Then, I'd get sad. But truth is, I don't have feelings for him anymore. He should know why.

YOU SUCK YOU SUCK YOU SUCK, DICK.

I mean, not him. Just another person. Omg, I get so pissed off easily these few days. I keep craving for stuffs. And now, I'm craving for something I shouldn't crave for at all. Why?

I am feeling so down. I don't know why but I am. Many things are running through my mind. On an on. Don't these things get tired? Ugh. I am watching Zombieland now. Tell you what, it's kindda disgusting. Haha.

TISSUE BOX!

HANTUU!

2009-12-01T13:56:00.001+08:00

If feels so real.

That thing is like looking at me!

hmmmm..

2009-11-30T12:18:00.001+08:00

You don't know how I feel.

That totally sucks.

I'm like dying silently you know.

You don't even care about me. About all of us.

My Love For You Will Only Multiply

2009-11-28T16:03:00.005+08:00

This past few days have been such a bliss. Only something made me not believe that it was meant to last. It's so complicated. Yet, I still whole-heartedly want it to happen.

Lover♥Boy told me that he hated some girls in our school last night. Well, lucky me, my Babygirls ain't one of them. But one of my classmates, yes. Haha! I laughed at him for telling me the reason why. It was sucha cute reason. It's a fact, actually. She's trying too hard. But I don't give a damn. Let her be what she wanna be (:

I haven't been getting enough sleep this past few days. I mean, I did but not to my satisfaction. Haha. And today really pissed me off. I woke up because Lover♥Boy called me. Okay, that, I was fine with it. He called me because he just woke up from a dream. About me. Aww~

And then, with our just-woke-up voices, we fell asleep. But woke up again and continued our conversation. Then he asked me to close my eyes and imagine.

You & I, holding hands.

Taking a stroll by the seashore.

We walked & walked & walked & walked.

And you got tired.

We sat on the water breaker and you rested your eyes.

I came closer and hugged you tight.

I held your neck gently.

Then, gave a kiss on your juicy lips.

Even though it's so common, it was a double aww! Haha. Damn right. Then, he asked me to continue from there. But I didn't want to. Haha. Then we fell asleep again. Then I woke up & said I was still sleepy. So we xoxo-ed and went back to bed. I love him.

Then I was about to sleep soundly when Marissa♥Babygirl called. Sorry babe, I was too tired. Then people made noise, and that so fucked me up. Ok fine, again - I was about to sleep when Sister♥ called for many times. Still didn't pick up. Then, my Dad♥ called me. Picked up. Then after I hung up, I texted Sister♥ to ask why she called me. And that one was so not important. Then she didn't reply so I went back to sleep. But then she called me -.- And suddenly my grandma nagged at me for talking on the phone too much. Ugh. Then I got fucking annoyed when this unfamiliar number called me many many times too. I wanted to know who it was at first so I picked it up and slept. Then, I heard a guy's voice then I hung up. And the calls keep coming back. Then just when I was sound asleep my mom woke me up and asked me to take my shower because we were going out. Then as soon as I finished bathing, guess what? She already left. And now, I'm tired but I don't know why I can't sleep.

I'm missing Lover♥Boy already. But I told him not to call me. Haha!

yabidabiduuuuu

2009-11-26T10:12:00.004+08:00

Wah wah wah. I got hell from Mr Ex Tunang yesterday. He said fuck me. So I said, fuck him back. And he laughed and said JOM. Wthhhh.

Okay btw, weird news. Remember the guy who confessed to me? Yea, yesterday we fought. Rabak siol. Like seriously. Then he gave me an online message. He said never to talk to him again. Kimak, kpo sia. Aku ckp dulu, bodowww. Oh and I rejected him when he asked me to be his girlfriend. Nyeahaha!

K so, when I onlined, I said, "Haha. Not to worry. I won't!"

The convo was friggin' complicated and weird.

Him: And dear, I like you.

Me: And what am I supposed to do huh?

Him: But I love another girl.

Me: Well, then that's great news!

Him: No.

Me: Why so?

Him: Because I have to choose between you & her, and I chose you.

Me: I swear! I don't understand. You just said you loved another girl.

Him: Huh?

Me: Y'know, if you have to choose between 95% & 5%, it's better you choose 95%.

Him: Wow. You know so much about love. Can be my adviser? Haha.

Me: Adviser? You must be outta your mind.

Him: But what you said was true. It's better I choose 95%.

Me: Well, I'm glad I knocked some sense out of you.

Him: Haha. But dear..

Me: You still calling me that?

Him: You be my adik uh! HAHA.

Me: Eh, are you crazy?

Him: Because you see, we'll always fight when we're lovers.

Me: Lovers? Since when?

Him: Okay, no. When I love you so much. More than anything else.

Me: Then isn't it awkward to be god siblings?

Him: Haha! Can whaaat. ADIK. Hehe. So funny.

Me: Haha. Up to you.

Him: But baby, I still love you ):

Me: WTF? You said you only liked me.

Him: The problem is, I want to always be close to you. That's why.

Me: Despo siak you. Jangan gini uh.

Him: Well, to me.. anything can happen. So, I love you ADIK. Mwarks.

Me: Wow.

Him: I still wanna flirt with you. Can?

Me: No!

Him: Alaaa. Youuuuuuuuuu.

Me: Ape you you? Sepak kepala you!

Him: I love you.

Me: I don't.

Him: YOUUUU!

Me: Apa laaa gila.

Him: I miss you, b.

Me: I don't.

Him: ADIK KU SYG!

Me: What?

Him: I can't treat you as adik ):

Me: Wth.

Him: YOUUUUUUUUU! I tetap syg you.

Me: Uh ye. Okay.

Him: Hehe, I love you.

Me: I sayang manusia lain you.

Him: Tkpe, I tunggu untuk you.

Me: Eh rabak sia member.

Him: I da ckp pe I syg you.

Me: Ugh. Suke hati laa.

Him: Sorry you. You know how happy I am to see you laugh and smile? Kalau tak nan I you selalu muram. See, I sanggop buat ape saje tuk baby I satu-satunya.

Me: BABY?! You da knape? Tk bbl nan you lagi eh!

Him: Alaa. Ok ok. I love you. *sent the flying kiss wink*

Me: Oh. Hah. Okay.

Him: I happy uh you.

Me: Asal?

Him: Sebab I da lama tak bbl na you sweet sweet gini.

Me: Hah.

Him: Youuu..

Me: Bye.

Him: YOOOOUU!

Me: What?

Him: You nak g skg?

Me: Uhh.

Him: Ok then ):

Me: Okay bye.

Him: Bye b. I miss you I love you. Mwarks.

Isn't he weird? Yes he is. But I am so in love with I.... No, I'm not telling you who~ But his name starts with an I ^.^

Ok lorrr. That's all lorr. Have fun lorr. Take care lorr. Bye lorr! I love him so much lorr (: He at work lorr! He tired lorr. Pity him lorr. He want to quit lorr. I said cannot lorr. He say he want to find another work lorr. Then I said up to you lorr. He say thanks dear lorr. I said no problem manja lorr. Then he kena go lorr. Then I sad sad lorr. Then he calling calling me lorr. Then I laugh laugh lorr. Then he kiss me lorr. Then I kiss him back lorr. At the cheeks, forehead and lips lorr. He also lorr. So fun saying lorr lorr. No actually annoying lorr. But nehmyne lorr. Once in a blue moon lorr. Wth lorr. Then he syg syg me one lorr. Then I syg syg him back laaa horrr! Dah pnat aku bbl psl law. Bye (:

uh-ohhhhhh

2009-11-25T14:01:00.004+08:00

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!

Saya jatuh cinta! Dengan si dia (:

No, no. Not the guy who confessed to me.

Well, most of you guys may know him. Yeaahhh. It's so cool, like seriously. I'll tell you why and who when we are officially going out. I mean, we already are but we're yet to be in a relationship. And he said, "I want to know you more so that when we're in a relationship, I'll know you best. And I'll understand you most. And I'll take care of you forever." Awww. Saya suka! 6.6

And and and and best part: we don't need to doubt each other because he tell me almost everything! Same goes to me laaa. Well, so far only 3 person knows him. Yesterday, I webcamed with Shaffy babygirl. Alaaaaa, I miss her so much maaaaan. And then he had to call, so I had to choose between the lappy & him. So I chose him. Hehe. Yupp, she saw me otp with him thru the webby! Haha.

And to my other babygirls, I didn't tell you because I wanna tell you face to face. And Shaffy face to face-d with me. So yeah. Hehh.

Cair kejap siot.

2009-11-24T13:28:00.003+08:00

Haha. Aww! Someone just confessed to me. And I'm so fucking touched. HAHA!

Truth is, I don't really have feelings for him. That's the sad part.

Yesterday, when I went offline he said,

_________ said (4:32 AM):

i will do that

cos seriously im in love with u

I don't know do what though. Haha.

Y'know, suddenly I feel sad. I mean for a certain someone. Even though I hated him so much last time, he's still a part of my life since my secondary school years started right? Well, he kindda listened to me too when I had problems. So maybe now it's my turn. To repay his kindness. Dude, cheer up aye. Just give me a call, I'll be there right away. Promise (:

Bu, Nak Kahwin Uh. Bley? HAHA!

2009-11-23T14:13:00.002+08:00

Okay. So. Urm.

I MISS BLOGGING, THAT'S FOR SURE.

And, some people asked me not to stop blogging. So yeah. There's nothing much. But seriously the other day nightmare still freaks me out! Only my family and Fiq Jai knows. Huaaaak! Out of all people. Ya, because he's the only one who chatted with me that day. So yah. Haha.

You've got to watch this malay movie, Papadom. So aww-some!

I have nothing to say already. Just fucked up with this certain someone. Fuck.

I feel like slitting your throat. No, mine.

2009-11-18T17:22:00.003+08:00

Today, I would like to announce 2 things.

Officially, this blog will be closed.

AND

Officially, I am the most miserable girl alive.

I don't care if you disagree with how I should feel

But I am still the most miserable girl.

Shan't elaborate further. Farewell, avid readers.

Shit.

2009-11-18T10:25:00.002+08:00

Yooooooohhhh! Haha. I suddenly can't wait for later. And I suddenly miss the times when me and Marissa babygirl used to lepak. Haha. Singapore Poly was where it all started. Heeeeee.

And I'm now actually doing something I should not do. I mean, something I stopped doing since last time. Hahahaa! Godd, Illa's totally bored. That's why she's doing something stupid. Hahaha. But it's not really stupid y'know. It's just something fun I did when I was in primary school (:

rewinded love

Here I am

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

i promise.

I feel like our world's been infected.

Quick Update ♥

It was almost perfect ):

You still are. And I still am.

Let's just hope he'd read this.

Yes, that's true.

I am very exhausted

Am I really that bad?

Grow old with me.

ass.

I'll be there for you! (:

Love.

This especially goes to Phinois.

i lovvvveee him!

Keep swimming (x

Movie!

Lullaby baby

Another birthday.

fucccck

sadly..

-.-

I'm not listening.

LOL

wow.

LISTEN

you see through me

Let's perform a new routine.

I'm gonna make it useful

Yes, it is.

If that's what you want

So true, omg.

It's all about ______.

Hello hello! My name's Dibo!

XOXO..

LOTS OF LOVE

ughh.

When are you gonna love me again? ):

lolszsxzsxzs

That Star star girl

This is fact, not fiction.

So funny this one.

I'm going crazy!~

HA HA

friends or frienemies?

and it WILL come back.

Sweet dreams or a beautiful nightmare?

That is if you remember

very sad lorrr

if only everything i said were true

When we yell you say OH!~

Only you can save me from myself

(:

happy

Karma

how i wish i dont have feelings for you anymore

I love you, B

curtain close

Baby I am down down down down down

LUCKY I’M IN LOVE

It's always this late, right?

School sucks today

Again and again

I AM STILL AWAKE.

More Pichas

Fallin for you

Tonight will be the night

It's fatiguing~

Vierra

I've got a new husband! *.*

If it's loving that you want

Take a breath

Indian Occupation

So 2009;

Fuad Hakim

So just pull the trigger

goodness.

I've got a new husband! .